June Cleaver Nirvana

Our week started out with some silly play like riding the horsey...



and building a pyramid.



I took this picture...



then Ryan took this one.



We went to grandma and grandpa's house for the holiday where Rhett rode another horsey...



and Reid and Ryan played in the lake...











with Uncle Fred and Cousin.



Reid misted himself with a water bottle...



while Ryan created a terrarium.





We took a hike and found some blackberries. The temptation was too great and we ate...



and ate.



We passed this swamp...



and saw these flowers.





Two year old legs gave out and mommy carried Rhett to the car.



We went swimming...


and daddy showed us how to dive?









Two year old bodies needed some relaxation.



It was a very good week...



yes, it was.



More pictures at Lotus' place!

You are now visiting www.junecleavernirvana.com.

I feel all grown up and .commy!

I am so giddy that I can't write straight.

Head over to Five Star Friday for some coherent posts.

I received this email yesterday:

-----
Dear friend,

I am a Consultant. I have a Client that has Interest in Investing in Your Company or Country, can You be of Assistance?

I shall give Details when You Reply.

Mr. Daniel Williams
-----

After I read this, the following scenario played out in my head:

Holly is the director of Spam Central located in the random country of your spamming choice. She supervises a room full of Spam Central employees who spend their days spamming from their grey cubicles. She periodically reviews her employee’s actions to assure that Spam Central lives up to its reputation of being the finest in the spamming business.

Holly just read Mr. Williams’ latest effort (see above). She stands up, walks to the door of her office to view a room filled with grey cubicles:

Holly (yelling): Mr. Williams, please come to my office ASAP!

Mr. Daniel Williams (darting cubicles to stand at attention at Holly’s office door): Yes?

Holly (speaking loudly and holding a print-out of the email): What EXACTLY is this?

Mr. Daniel Williams: uh…that is what I sent out today, ma’am.

Holly (exasperated): How many people received this?

Mr. Daniel Williams: uh…uh…30,000 maybe a few more…

Holly: Did you come up with this work of genius on your own?

Mr. Daniel Williams: Yes, what is wrong? I ran it through both Spam Central English spell-check and grammar programs.

Holly (turns and yells out into the cubicle room): Mr. Roberts! Mr. Smith!

(Mr. Roberts and Mr. Smith come running to the office door): Yes ma’am?

Holly: Mr. Roberts, what did you write about today?

Mr. Roberts (smiling with confidence): My letter today was about a Sudanese Prince who had $21 million in a bank account that couldn't be transferred without the help of an American who would allow the use of their bank account for the money transfer for a finder’s fee--a HANDSOME finder’s fee.

Holly (nodding with satisfaction): And you, Mr. Smith?

Mr. Smith (snickering): I wrote about a group of American soldiers that confiscated enemy gold, but the USA government won’t allow them to keep it unless an American citizen sponsors the transfer into currency. The sponsorship would make it both legal and profitable for the sponsor.

Holly: Good work, both of you. Now can you please listen to what Mr. Williams sent out today? Go ahead Mr. Williams…read your masterpiece to them…

Mr. Williams (reaching for the paper Holly hands him): I am a Consultant. I have a Client that has Interest in Investing in Your Company or Country, can You be of Assistance?

Mr. Roberts and Mr. Smith (laughing hysterically): YOU SENT THAT OUT?

Holly (disgusted): Yes he sent about 30,000. Luckily I caught it before it got out to very many people.

Mr. Roberts: Dude, that sucks!

Mr. Smith: Really man, that was a total phone-in.

Mr. Roberts (frantically, trying to salvage his work): Hey, I added the “or Country” part to make it sound all official. You know, like there was a bunch of money involved…

Holly (dryly): I doubt our email list includes the Queen of England.

Holly: I am sorry Mr. Williams, but here at Spam Central we expect more. You might get away with that crap at Spam “R” Us or Spamarama, but here we have higher spam standards. I am sorry but you are fired.

(Mr. Williams nods and walks out of the cubicle-filled office of Spam Central. He slowly drives home to his wife to admit he couldn't even write spam.)


Moral of the story: If you are going to send Holly spam, please make an effort.

Much has been written throughout time about love at first sight.

I would like to propose the hypothesis that friendship at first sight is also possible.

To further examine this theory, let's take a trip back in time.

WAY BACK in time. Let's visit the 80s!

In the 80s Holly went to college. In the 80s Holly wore big, bright clothing. In the 80s Holly's hair was well...VERY 80s:



Down the hall a bit in the drab girls' dormitory lived Madge. Madge also went to college. Madge wore dark, poetic clothing. Madge somehow escaped the 80s without all that hair:



At this point Holly didn't know Madge. At this point Madge didn't know Holly. Quite frankly, from the outside looking in Holly and Madge don't have much in common. Quite frankly, most people (including Holly and Madge) wouldn't think they would get along.

Enter random mutual acquaintance of the 80s! She can introduce Holly and Madge. She can bring these two worlds together. She can be Holly and Madge's United Nations:



One Saturday evening in the 80s, random mutual acquaintance of the 80s stopped Madge, Holly and Holly's super cute roomie, Carmen in the girls' dorm hall. She had an invitation to extend to the three of us:



Thanks random acquaintance of the 80s! What a great idea!



You see, despite having all that 80s hair Holly didn't have a date. You see, despite not having all that hair neither did Madge.

We took random acquaintance of the 80s up on her offer and piled into Madge's Toyota Tercel.

Yipeee! We are party bound.

We walked into the party. The U2 concert movie had already begun.

Within moments the U2 concert video seemed very long.



Random acquaintance of the 80s settled into her church of U2 seat.

Where is 80s Holly?

Where is 80s Madge?



Snacks!

Yeah!

Over Doritos Madge and Holly exchanged glances. Over Doritos Madge and Holly discussed the lameness of the movie. Over Doritos Madge and Holly decide to ditch random acquaintance of the 80s...

Stop your judgement now! You would have totally done the same thing.



Random acquaintance of the 80s was still settled into her church of U2 seat.

Where is 80s Holly?

Where is 80s Madge?

Holly and Madge escaped the church of U2 and made a break for the Toyota Tercel.

The Toyota Tercel's tires squealed in delight as they drove away from the party. Well, that might have been Holly.

Madge and Holly found that they had approximately $9 between them. They decided that Burger King might be the best place to spend all that college student cash. Burger King would let them order kid's meals. Burger King's kid's meals would fill their tummies with change to spare:



The kid's meals were served in super cool buckets. The kid's meals contain fries, a small drink and a burgerless burger (don't ask). The kid's meals contain Burger King crowns.

Let's just say the evening has made a turn for the better...MUCH better.

Madge and Holly laughed.

Madge and Holly cried (that is a slight exaggeration, they aren't really the crying kinda girls).

Madge and Holly decided to head back to the girls' dormitory by way of Blockbuster to rent the entire works of Christian Slater.

Quite frankly, Madge and Holly were kinda glad they didn't have dates.

So into the sunset Madge and Holly rode in the 80s Toyota Tercel. Well, not really into the sunset because it was MUCH too late for that, but it was just as poetic.

They took the ride home as an opportunity to cruise "O" Street with the Burger King buckets on their heads.

Really people, the crowns were way too OBVIOUS as a headgear choice:



The end.

Except not really.

That hot date that Holly's super cute roomie had? She married him.

That random acquaintance of the 80s? We have NO idea what happened to her and hope she got home safely from the party.

What became of Madge and Holly? They are still friends after 19 years and would JUMP at the chance to reinact that evening...

Holiday potluck! What a treat. Step right in and have a seat.

Really, I will stop with the rhyme thing.

This is the first potluck in the new place so I think catering might be my best option. I don't want to have to leave the party to burn cook food, open windows to rid the new place of smoke serve food or call the fire department to come turn off the smoke alarms clean up. Not like ANYTHING like that has EVER happened to me.

Ryan(7) had a friend(6) over last week and Reid(4) was doing some little-brother-attention-seeking-behavior that was about to get him into trouble. I didn't want to embarrass him in front of his older brother and guest so I pulled him aside and whispered into his ear some suggestions to improve his behavior. He responded by screaming, "I HEAR YOU!" like he was eavesdropping on our conversation.


A few dear readers have arrived after Googling, "Ward Cleaver Nirvana". *light bulb moment* Could that be my next expansion step in my quest for worldwide blog domination?

I also have become a source for beaver trapping information seekers. I sure hope my wardrobe suggestions come in handy for them. Glad to help the Beaver Trappers of America fight the frump.


Reid(4) was sitting in the back seat of the minivan in the middle of a drive without any context he asked, "so am I going to marry a girl or what?"

Speaking of minivans, this is very funny!

This week I am changing up the fruit bowl thing a bit:

This week I am making it, "What is in Holly's large rubbermaid food storage container"....

potatoes? nope.
sweet potatoes? nope.
rotten sweet potatoes? nope. (sorry, MoscowMom)
small watermelon? nope.

It is....

a mouse. A LIVE MOUSE. A live mouse that I trapped underneath my dining room table. A live mouse that I trapped underneath my dining room table in competition with my cat.

All God's creatures love Holly.

One more reason NOT to eat left-overs at my house.


My niece graduated from highschool on Saturday. It was a beautiful graduation and it was fun to see extended family. Congratulations Allison!

Happy Memorial Day!

Reid meet fountain:






Sleeping puppy break:




Let's camp in the living room:





Mid-peek, mid-boo:



Unauthorized photo of blog-Stedman (shhhhh...don't tell him I posted it):



More photos at Sarcastic Mom.