June Cleaver Nirvana

Wow, these Mondays are sure persistent.
They just keep coming around.

I have a few hugs and kisses left over from Mother's Day so please pick one up before you leave.

Speaking of Mother's Day...

Blog-Stedman reports the following conversation on the way to Target last week sans ME.
Blog-Stedman: Does anyone have any ideas what we should get mom for mother's day?
Rhett(3): NO.
Blog-Stedman: Should we get her flowers?
Rhett: No. She ALREADY has some.
They ended up settling on separate cards from each boy which were super cute to see and I bought my own Mother's Day present the weekend before when I attended the Go Red for Women charity luncheon and auction - with a little help I was able to nab some silent auction art out from under the noses of two very-watchful, red-clad, highly-coiffed, North-Dallas girls. SCORE!



All in all a fabulous Mother's Day.

Last Thursday a friend and I met to take our collective 5 boys to see a play - Frog and Toad. As you can see from the picture I took in the lobby how excited my boys (the grumpy ones on the left) were that their mother wants to expose them to culture:

What I love about this picture is that my friend's boys actually look HAPPY. Oh, and Rhett...he is always willing to participate. He ended up hanging out with the enthusiastic two for the rest of the morning. No one, not even a three year old likes un-cultured storm clouds.

After the play we went to the Fort Worth Botanical Gardens, but before you think we are completely TORTURING 5 small boys let me mention that there are large areas to run, fountains to play in and a kids learning area which includes this question...



The boys were in heaven.

What is up with Holly's Coccyx?


Neutral.



Let's find out who is Peep of the Week!

In response to Rhett's interpretation of what I look like:

I could tell it was you. Even without the shorty pajamas and beaver trap.

Thanks for the reality check ThreeUnderTwo...I thought my shorty pajamas and beaver traps hid my extra wide hips and pointy football player shoulders. Great...I am off to write in to What Not to Wear.


And just because it is pretty...




What is in Holly's fruit bowl?



22 cloves of garlic.

May your Monday be absent of uncultured storm clouds.
Please take a clove of garlic with you...and don't forget your hugs and kisses...

In honor of today, MONDAY and the POTLUCK festivities that are about to ensue, I am going to change the lyrics of quite possibly the world's most annoying song to be...

*drum roll*

EVEN MORE ANNOYING!

*applause*

POTLUCK was never waiting for us till
it ran one step ahead
as we followed in the dance.

Between the parted pages
we POTLUCKED,
in love's hot, fevered iron
like a striped pair of pants.

POTLUCK is melting in the dark
all the sweet green icing flowing down
someone left the cake out in the rain
I don't think that I can take it
'cause it took so long to bake it
and I'll never have that recipe again
Oh, nooo!

--Donna Summer, POTLUCK McArthur Park

*applause*
(a few people stand)

1. "June Cleaver vacuuming"

2. "fruit bowl"

3. "exasperation"

4. "pictures of Joan Cleaver"

5. "what's for dinner?"

What IS for dinner?

*applause*

What is up with Holly's Coccyx?


Better.

*applause*

Let's find out who is Peep of the Week!

In response to Ryan and Reid believing that school should be closed for lightening:

Maybe you shouldn't let Ryan go to school for an hour after he's eaten. Just to be safe.

Thanks Manic Mommy! Wise and witty advice.

*applause*
((standing ovation))

Now since I made such a big deal about school NOT closing for rain, all the area public schools have closed for swine flu. Ryan's school is a part home-school and part real-school that only has one more week until summer break. It is NOT closing.

Which brings me to one of the down sides of home schooling:



<a href="http://www.junecleavernirvana.com"><img border="0" src="http://i440.photobucket.com/albums/qq127/burbmom/homeschoolopenbutton.jpg" /></a>

*few random boos*


Blog-Stedman and I took a quick road trip down to San Antonio this weekend for a meeting he had to attend. The drive was beautiful with Texas wildflowers everywhere. I tried to get some pictures, but at 70 mph the close-ups didn't turn out so well.

Once in San Antonio we found an area of absolute excellence. Can you believe that the World's Greatest Tacos and the World's Best Coffee are in competing restaurants RIGHT NEXT DOOR to each other?

What are the chances?

*applause*

And THIS my friends IS BREAKFAST -



Apfel Pfannenkuchen.

*applause*
((standing ovation))

What is in Holly's fruit bowl?



Nothing.

*silence*
*kinda awkward silence*

May your Monday be filled with applause and may your cake be of the unpronounceable type...

Yawn...
*stretch*

I am back, but a bit bored of potluck.
In fact, a potluck sounds really gross right now.

Let's forget potluck entirely and just go get some coffee and donuts.

Mmmm...donuts.



Wow. I am feeling better already.

You know what would make this even better?

Bacon.

Yep.



No, not fake bacon! Side note: This is really weird because we actually have facon at our house in the form of Stripples-you know the stuff that baco-bits is made out of, but that is not what Rhett is eating. He is actually chewing on really fake bacon. Really fake plastic bacon. Don't ask about the hat. Not sure about that. But obviously I don't understand the wardrobe choices of people who eat really fake bacon.

And now I would like to take a nap on a hammock in 75 degree, light breeze with partial shade.


Very nice. Side note: They just don't make hammocks like they used to. Remember part of the thrill of the hammock was the likelihood that you would end up on the ground with little warning? Well, now there are safety straps that prevent capsizing. Sleeping in a hammock with safety straps is for sissies.

***
And now for a little story called my son may be Dr. Suess reincarnated:

Rhett(3) has had issues about not wanting to leave the table for anything while he is eating. Even if..*ahem*...he has to pee. The other morning I insisted that he go ASAP due to my dislike of mopping up puddles under his chair. As he hopped down from his stool he said...

I don't want my milk to go old or my toast to be cold.--Rhett 4/27/09

I checked the date on the milk and assessed that he was at least 50% good to go.
The end.
***
And now for what I guarantee is the cutest photo you have seen all day.

In fact, I am offering a POTLUCK MONEY BACK guarantee if this in fact is NOT the cutest photo you have seen all day*...




*I was going to put a whole bunch of legal mumbo jumbo about how the MONEY BACK guarantee was non-binding and you had to jump through hoops (hula hoops) to get it, but as I look at it I am convinced that it is the cutest picture you will see all day and I stand behind my guarantee 100%.


Let's enjoy a really pretty sunset together:



May I have my chainsaw handy for your future sunset viewing pleasure...

Let's greet Monday with a smile today!

;) *smile* :)

That last ":)" may have been a little much - thank God I don't have emoticons.

Hi Monday :)!

Make me stop!

Really.

And now for a series of photos followed by a story...

Rhett has taken an interest in golfing due to Ryan's interest in golfing. He grabbed Reid's bag of clubs the other day while I was working with Ryan on his swing. He is a born caddy - file information for future use - and brought the clubs over to where Ryan and I were playing. He then threw a full blown tantrum because the bag he was using didn't have a bag stand built-in. Temperamental caddy - file that information for future use. He finally calmed down and pulled out the driver.

He approached the ball.

Took one swing.

Missed.

And threw his club about 50 yards.

Nice. I guess golf rage starts at age 3.

My favorite searches that had readers Nirvana-bound this week:

1. "4 steps to nirvnana"

2. "a funny story about Heidi"

3. "awesome sails for pogo sticks"

That pogo stick sail thing is awesome in itself.

What is up with Holly's Coccyx?


Ugh. Just ugh.


Let's find out who is Peep of the Week!

This week's Peep is easy...
The comment was so funny that other commenters were lobbying for her return as Reigning Peep.

In response to Just 11 to go: The binky addiction story:

We always gave our patients jonesing from withdrawals cigarettes. I am thinking maybe you should do something else. Lighters are dangerous and playing with matches make you wet the bed.

Congrats Jill Jill Bo Bill. I am completely following your sage advice.

Which brings me to this week's button:



<a href="http://www.junecleavernirvana.com"><img border="0" src="http://i440.photobucket.com/albums/qq127/burbmom/nopacifierbutton.jpg" /></a>

What is in Holly's fruit bowl?



The light went out again. Seriously. We are back to the dark ages of fruit bowl reporting.

A bunch of green bananas and one near rotten one.

May your day get off to a quicker start than mine...

It is Monday.

Whoo hoo.

ya, that is slightly sarcastic...



Whatcha going to do about it?

Before we look at this week's searches, let's continue to explore the "catchy potluck slogans" you contributed last week:

1. Time to make the POTLUCK! - Elaine A.
2. Potluck Power! - Janet
3. Potluck--it's recession friendly! - Jenn
4. It's my potluck, and I want it now! - Kellibean
5. Potluck With A Chance of Meatballs - Happy Campers
6. Eat, Pray, Love, Potluck! - Happy Campers
7. The Five Potlucks You Meet In Heaven - Happy Campers
8. Humpty Dumpty Sat On A Potluck - Happy Campers
9. Finger-licking, Potlucking good - Stephanie (Bad Mom)
10. Lotsa Luck with your POTsaLUCK! - Stephanie (Bad Mom)

Here are some of my favorite searches from this week:
1. "nirvana" "tantrum"
2. "these here parts"
3. "out of control breakfast"
4. "sorry you are in pain"

Awwwww...thanks. What a nice way to see:

What is up with Holly's Coccyx?


Two trips to the chiropractor and I am feeling optimistic (and less pain).


Let's find out who is Peep of the Week!

I love the question posed by this week's Peep:

Do I want to post a comment or just lurk? - Zelzee

When in doubt, COMMENT!

Which brings me to this week's button:

<a href="http://www.junecleavernirvana.com"><img border="0" src="http://i440.photobucket.com/albums/qq127/burbmom/commentbutton.jpg" /></a>

What is in Holly's fruit bowl?



Oh, what does it matter anymore?

Just go look for yourself...




Just slip quietly away while Holly tries to figure out her attitude problem...

Happy Monday.



I mean HAPPY MONDAY!

Here are some of my favorite searches from the week:
1. "addiction to motherhood"
2. "berber rugs + dog toenails"
3. "brought the suitcase to my home"
4. "catchy slogans for potlucks"

*screech*
*stop*

I really feel like I should address that last one. As the hostess of a weekly potluck, I really should step up to the plate *giggle* and be the SOURCE for catchy potluck slogans. So here are a few. If you would like to add one in the comments, I will add them to the list with full authorship linky credit...

June Cleaver Nirvana's comprehensive list of catchy potluck slogans:
1. Got POTLUCK?
2. Snap, Crackle, POTLUCK!
3. Nothin' Says Lovin' like something random from a POTLUCK.
4. With a name like POTLUCK, it has to be good
5. Between love and madness lies POTLUCK.
6. Obey your POTLUCK.
7. Sometimes you feel like a POTLUCK, sometimes you don't.
8. I want my POTLUCK!
9. A POTLUCK is a terrible thing to waste.
10. I'm POTLUCKING it.

Don't forget to pick up your button:

<a href="http://www.junecleavernirvana.com"><img border="0" src="http://i440.photobucket.com/albums/qq127/burbmom/obsessionbutton.jpg" /></a>


What is up with Holly's Coccyx?

UGH...relapse.

Let's find out who is Peep of the Week!

Since the Nivana was lazy last week and didn't choose a peep I am doubling the peep pleasure by announcing two.

In response to I wish he represented MY district:

OMG he will be president! I love that parenting now requires fine print:) --Brittany

In response to If you give a Texas Mom a sunny day:

Felony flower photography. Good thing your son is destined to be a lawyer. You're going to need him. --ThreeUnderTwo

Congrats to Brittany and ThreeUnderTwo. You will share the sidebar and the title of Reining Peeps of the Week.


What is in Holly's fruit bowl?



I have come to a fruit bowl dilemma. I have been reporting for a year what is in my fruit bowl for a reason. The reason is because my fruit bowl sits in darkness. You can read about WHY my fruit bowl sits in darkness in The Legend of Bitter Holly.

Well, this week I got the problem resolved.

No more darkness.

Bitter Holly has mellowed.

YEAH!

Let there be light upon my fruit bowl.

So, I thought that maybe I should discontinue the potluck segment now that you can actually SEE what is in the fruit bowl.

But then I noticed something.

The lighting was perfect...



perfect for a picture.


May your over-ripe and slightly peeled bananas have perfect lighting...


Oh! I just added the Blogger FOLLOWER function - I know I am like 4 months behind - but PLEASE follow if you are a regular reader. Thanks!

Yipeee. Let's hear it for Monday.
Goooooooo Monday!
*clap**clap* (those cheerleader claps with the outward elbows)

Last week was spring break for my family and me which is why there wasn't much original going on here at the Nirvana.

I did more cooking in the last 7 days than I thought humanly possible. Thankfully we squeezed in a few activities as well...

We did a little skiing:



And a little swimming:



I have never skied spring break before and was thrilled with the 50 and 60 degree temperatures and a little terrified of what those temperatures do to snow on a ski hill in the afternoon...slush. It was a little like downhill water skiing with really skinny water skis.

We have been on flat land for 36 hours now and my ears still need to pop...

huh?
You are going to have to speak louder!




The following Googlers were enticed to the Nirvana with these searches:
1. "job description homemaker funny"
2. "locking kids out"
3. "mommy has boobs4"
4. "what to bring to a church potluck"
5. "holly has 6 children"
6. "animated toilet plumbing underground in 3 d"


What is up with Holly's coccyx?



Doing good.
Yep, she is going to continue this feature even though there is no news in an effort to continue monopolization of the world wide web's coccyx update status...take that facebook.


Let's find out who is Peep of the Week!



In response to the animated tale Let's Go on a Road Trip!:

Love this article! Love the drawings! My family of 6 also took long road trips in a minivan from Indiana to Florida almost every summer. Very similar rules. One of our games was that "whoever smells the ocean first gets a dollar!" Yeah, my parents were brilliant. Kept us quiet (except for all the sniffing) for at least an hour once we crossed the Florida state line. :-)

For the GENIUS of her parents, Deborah at Coco Bonbons is Peep of the Week!

Blog-Stedman and I have played a similar little game on road trips between Dallas and Denver called "Is it a dirty diaper or is it a feed lot?"

Good times.

Good times that have come to an end for this minivan traveling family who is diaper-free in 2009! Bumper stickers to be printed soon...

Don't forget to pick up your button:



<a href="http://www.junecleavernirvana.com"><img border="0" src="http://i440.photobucket.com/albums/qq127/burbmom/dirtydiaperbutton.jpg" /></a>


Let's find out what is in Holly's fruit bowl!


2 yellow onions, 2 white onions 1 7/12 heads of garlic, 3 shriveled oranges and a sprouting potato.

May your nose distiguish between diapers and feed lots today...