Holly lives in a suburban neighborhood of one of the United States of America's largest cities. Normally all God's creatures do not congregate in a suburban neighborhood of one of the United States of America's largest cities but Holly doesn't live normally.

One day Holly went outside her house and saw this:

"Hmmmmm....weird" she thought. Holly loves all God's creatures. Holly thinks beavers are cute and have a reputation for being busy.

The next morning Holly went outside her home and saw this:

Legend: Pinkish Red circled "X"=trees felled by beaver(s)

Holly loves all God's creatures. Holly thinks beavers are cute and are living up to their reputation for being busy.

The next morning Holly went outside her home and saw this:

Legend: Pinkish Red circled "X"=trees felled by beaver(s)

Holly loves all God's creatures. Holly thinks beavers are cute and are really living up to their reputation for being busy.

The next morning Holly went outside her home and saw this:

Legend: Pinkish Red circled "X"=trees felled by beaver(s), Large fancy two-toned arrow emphasizes that a tree between Holly's house and the street was also felled.

WHAT? Holly has no problem with beaver activity as long as it is not interrupting her home's landscape. There are plenty of trees around to share. Holly thinks the beaver(s) have gone too far. Holly is mad. Holly loves all God's creatures except for beaver(s) who overstep their landscape boundries. Holly thinks most beavers are cute and live up to their reputation for being busy. Holly thinks a small minority of beavers are evil and out to ruin her landscape.

Holly makes a call to the beaver relocation program:

Soon a professional trapper arrives to put an end to the small minority of beavers who are evil and out to ruin Holly's landscape.

The professional trapper sets two traps along the creek and one trap in the pond. Holly made this handy dandy trap map for your reference:

Holly is so proud of herself for hiring a professional trapper to relocate the small minority of beavers who are evil and out to ruin her landscape. She is so happy until she hears this:

Which causes Holly to say this:

Before the professional trapper leaves he gives Holly trapping lessons. Holly learns that any trapper worth her salt (and Holly is pretty sure she is worth the 75 cents that salt is worth) checks her traps early in the morning.

The next morning Holly goes out to check her traps around 6:30 am. Holly is sleepy and just got out of bed. Holly is still in her shorty pajamas. The one thing the professional trapper forgot to mention was the dresscode for beaver trapping:

Holly does put on her tall rubber snake fighting boots because Holly loves all God's creatures except for beaver(s) who overstep their landscape boundries and snakes.

Holly sets out to check the traps along the creek. The trees are so thick (even after the beaver tree editing) that it is very difficult to walk. The trees behind Holly's house are very dense:

Holly finds that if she walks down the middle of the creek she can get to the two traps along the creek without fighting too many trees. She finds that she trapped a turtle in the first trap. She finds that she trapped a turtle in the second trap.

Holly is pretty sure that trapping turtles isn't going to help her beaver problem.

Holly starts toward the third trap. It is not along the creek. It is very difficult to get to. Holly fights through the trees and brush.

Holly is fighting through the trees and brush when she thinks she might hear a snake. Holly is not rational enough to assess that one usually doesn't HEAR a snake. Holly starts pushing and shoving through the trees and brush to the edge of the trees behind Holly's house. She is so frantic that she falls out of the woods:

Holly literally falls out of the woods behind her house onto the golf course that is behind the woods behind her house. When she lands she is approximately 6 feet away from the ball of a early rising golfer. She is 15 feet from his golf cart in which his partner is sitting. She is 25 feet from another golf cart filled with the remainer of the early rising golf foursome.

To be fair, Holly is unsure of the five parties involved who was more startled.

Before running back into the woods to escape the early rising golfers, Holly said this:

Holly is suspicious that this little episode might have been told again once the foursome got back to the golf clubhouse. Holly is a little suspicious that there might have been some laughing involved. Holly is pretty sure they didn't buy the beaver trapping story so she would like to post this in the clubhouse just to set things straight:

It is true that Holly did end up trapping 2 beavers, a racoon and 3 turtles. None of these fierce animals were hurt in anyway. The beavers and racoon were relocated to a more rural location. Unfortunately for Holly it didn't happen overnight. Holly was just like Pa from Little House on the Prairie for 2 weeks. Holly was very careful on all following beaver trapping trips to wear REAL clothes and listen very closely for snakes.

71 comments:

spinning in our own direction said...

HA HA HA!! this is hillarious!!! So are these different beavers than in the past or did you just finally have enough.. I love the golfer story. I actually thik I heard someone tell me about a crazy lady who came out of hte woods while they were golfing.. Tee hee

anglophilefootballfanatic said...

Oh, Holly, Holly, Holly! Gee whiz. You know those drunk golfers went back to the clubhouse and got really crude about a woman and her beaver, right? I'm glad they were safely evacuated and your landscape remains intact. I didn't know we had beavers around here Mr Ingalls.

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

I'm confused--did Holly make the statement about checking her beaver traps while sitting or while curtsying?!

Yes, this story will surely make the rounds of many a golf course.

Kalynne Pudner said...

Alabama beavers only fell trees that will block driveways, and build dams where the rain run-off will flood driveways. Particularly MY driveway.

You're much nicer to beavers than I would be, if I could ever catch the damn things.

And let's not talk about snakes, okay?

the planet of janet said...

note to self: do not read june cleaver nirvana late at night while husband is sleeping. one can hurt oneself trying to stifle laughter.

Jennifer H said...

Oh, Pa! You're the best.

Oh my gawd, I was laughing so hard. This is the funniest thing I've read in ages.

I feel like I should send you an Orvis catalog. Also, how do you keep from telling these things for two whole weeks? I wouldn't have that kind of restraint. I bow down.

Veronica said...

Is is bad if I feel like confessing my love for you everytime I read your blogs?

I thought so too.

frogpondsrock said...

I am sure that veronica just stole my comment.. (Oh that is right She is related to me so we think alike..)

Holly that was hilarious..

thanks xxx kim

Brenda said...

Holly is very funny. Holly makes me laugh. If I were an early-rising golfer, I probably would have started blogging just to tell that story!

I agree with Jennifer H (how I found this blog), how in the WORLD did you wait 2 weeks to tell this story?

Happy Campers said...

OK--I knew you set beaver traps, but you never told me about FALLING onto the golf course in your pjs!! Bwahahahahahhahaha!!!!

Isn't there a regulation in the HOA regulations about that?

fullheartandhands mama said...

Too funny. And, for the record, the only time I'd wear skinny jeans, would be as a stick figure.

Thanks for the laugh!

Valarie said...

My husband just looked at me with that real crazy look. Ya know seeing as I was laughing so hard and all. This was great I can just imagine what those golfers were thinking.

Lisa said...

Hilarious as usual!
I am happy you saw no snakes--I hate snakes.
Adn ya know I am betting my neighbor may have had a hand in knocking down your trees...he wants the town to be free of pesky acorns ;)

Suzie said...

Good thing you caught those nasty turtles. Maybe they were responsible for some of the downed trees

Rachael said...

Funny drama seeks you out, doesn't it?!

That's hilarious, by the way.

Sadie said...

*LOL* You were checking your beaver traps *snicker*

Your animated stories keep getting better :D

Queen Mommy said...

Holly is a very funny, accomplished beaver trapper.

GREAT one! I can't wait for the book of Holly's Animated Life!

Jennifer said...

lmfao! rof!! love this!! this is the BEST yet... in my opinion! :) i loved the entire story and i, of course, love your drawings!! i must say though that the picture of you in the skirt, you really needed a slip or something b/c you could see right through your skirt, not that I was trying to see, but you just noticed it right away... maybe you were standing with the sun behind your or something... I'm just sayin'... I would want someone to tell me. I'm also the person that will def tell you if you have something in your teeth... which you didn't. :) i also LOVED the pic of you sitting on the golf course, indian style with your hair all messed up. :) anohter one of my fave pics of yours. =)

anyway... glad you got rid of the beavers and the racoon, and all that.

thanks for the laugh as always!!

xoxoxo's Jenn

Jennifer said...

lmfao! rof!! love this!! this is the BEST yet... in my opinion! :) i loved the entire story and i, of course, love your drawings!! i must say though that the picture of you in the skirt, you really needed a slip or something b/c you could see right through your skirt, not that I was trying to see, but you just noticed it right away... maybe you were standing with the sun behind your or something... I'm just sayin'... I would want someone to tell me. I'm also the person that will def tell you if you have something in your teeth... which you didn't. :) i also LOVED the pic of you sitting on the golf course, indian style with your hair all messed up. :) anohter one of my fave pics of yours. =)

anyway... glad you got rid of the beavers and the racoon, and all that.

thanks for the laugh as always!!

xoxoxo's Jenn

Elizabeth said...

Oh Holly, You ARE just like Pa Ingalls! I am SO proud of you!
You truly crack me up.
I Too would buy the book of Holly's Animated Life. I'd use it anytime I felt a little down...LOL!
Pax, EJT

carmen said...

OMG! Tell me you did not say "I'm just checking my beaver traps!!" The tears are running, I'm laughing so hard!

Christine said...

Checking your beaver traps. You funny, Top Momma.

Danielle said...

What...the early rising golfing foursome didn't offer to help you find the beaver trap??? I bet they only laughed a little bit!
I, on the other hand, laughed a little bit more than a little bit;)

A Mom Two Boys said...

OMG, this is HI-LAR-IOUS.

Dude. The picture of you falling and the guys on the golf course..."checking my beaver traps"

I'm going to be giggling all day.

EatPlayLove said...

Oh my goodness! First, I am trying to actually imagine having such wildlife in my back yard. Turtles, how fun!

Second, can I recommend you invest in a Lipstick Cam? It's a tiny camera you can attach to a baseball hat (To cover your morning hair) and then we can see the real footage, for I am soooo curious!

Madge said...

OMG. I am dying. really. when is the book coming out?

laughingatchaos said...

I smiled.
I chuckled.
I laughed out loud so explosively I may have scared my child.

You do realize that the punch line "I was checking my beaver traps" is going to live on forever at the clubhouse, right? LOL!

Soliloquy said...

Holly is hilarious.

Holly makes Soliloquy laugh and laugh and laugh.

Soliloquy feels good when she laughs and laughs and laughs.

Soliloquy wants to be Holly's friend.

Elaine A. said...

I gotta make my husband read this one. He's gonna love it! ; )

Happy Mother's Day!

On a limb with Claudia said...

ahahahahahahahahahahahaha!! You were the hot chick with the nice ass in the shorty?? That was you??

I heard guys telling that story at the golf course on our park. Don't worry. Rose bit them. ;)

InTheFastLane said...

Oh the beaver jokes! Oh the google searches you will now get :) I am impressed with the number of trees those beavers took down. Now at my house, it would be a little obvious if a beaver felled one of my four trees.

Donna R. said...

Holly, I love your blog! It always make me laugh. And today's story was great!

Tootsie Farklepants said...

I love you even more for admitting the problem with your beaver to male strangers. That's hot.

LaskiGal said...

Love the trapping attire. I'll bet those golfers wish they had a camera!

Hilarious!!!

Happy Mother's Day!

Domestic Accident said...

That is the funniest story EVAH! And I love Pa. And what guy doesn't like a good story about beaver traps.

Angie said...

the hell? I left a comment yesterday, but it didn't take. I will repeat.

Coming from a family of male golfers known to hit the links anytime they could get a tee time, I can guarantee the pj girl checking the beaver traps at 6:30 am is STILL being discussed today.

My neighbor puts out Indian corn and sunflower seeds for the "birds" what we get are rabbits, moles and chipmunks. It is about to be open season in my backyard if I find ONE MORE perfectly dug hole. Maybe it will be open season in THEIR backyard. If we had a creek, I am sure the beavers would be feasting, too.

On a totally separate note, your house setting looks AMAZING.

KEEP BELIEVING

Angie said...

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that the sunflower seeds then SPROUT becuase the stupid little vermin bury the seeds and I get corn and sunflowers growing in places I never planted them. LIKE THE SANDBOX. Then I am repulsed because I know they have been in the sandbox and my kids OCCASSIONALLY play in there.

KEEP BELIEVING

Burgh Baby's Mom said...

Man, you have all the fun. I want to trap some beavers, darn it!

Momo Fali said...

I would love to hear those golfers telling a story about the woman in snake boots and shorty pajamas who fell out of the woods! Hilarious!

Beck said...

Ha!
Beavers - crazy beavers - routinely flood the roads out my way. It's a big problem. Stupid crazy beavers.

Beck said...

Ha!
Beavers - crazy beavers - routinely flood the roads out my way. It's a big problem. Stupid crazy beavers.

Beck said...

Ha!
Beavers - crazy beavers - routinely flood the roads out my way. It's a big problem. Stupid crazy beavers.

Lisa said...

Holly--I tagged you :) Check out my blog for details.

Lisa said...

Holly--I tagged you :) Check out my blog for details.

Lisa said...

Holly--I tagged you :) Check out my blog for details.

Sleeping with Ward Cleaver said...

OMG Holly, I love your beaver trapping escapades. And I love that the neighborhood golfers are on to your early morning beaver-trapping ventures. I'm sure they thought that was Stedman's job...(sp?)

Oh, I just thought of something. SO perfectly fitting that June Cleaver was trapping Beaver!

{Karla} said...

This is so funny on so many different levels.

xo and Happy Mother's Day ~ K

MoscowMom said...

Oh, MY! Are you sure you didn't arrange for those beavers to come just so you'd have such AMAZING blogging fodder??!!!! It's almost too funny to be real!!! It was hysterical enough withOUT the falling onto a golf course in your shorty pajamas...

By the way, my step-sister used to see a gynecologist called "Dr. Harold Beaver" in Washington, D.C. Yup, that's right... Harry Beaver. You'd think he'd have changed his name...

You really crack me up!!!

I needed a laugh; thanks! Mother's Day came and went here (it's now 00:16 on Monday morning...)and my husband still doesn't know he and the kids completely missed it...

Manic Mommy said...

I agree with Karla - funny on so many levels.

When the early riser golfers are telling this story (and of course they are). There are many, many Caddyshack references being tossed in there.

Melody said...

Oh my word, that is so funny! The illustrated posts are so great - I almost hope you never go back to your camera again.

David Rochester said...

You've given those golfers a memory to last a lifetime.

jubilee said...

As a first time reader, I gotta say this was quite the post to come in on.
Don't have anything clever to add, it's too late, but just wanted to say "hi" and enjoyed the read.

dawn224 said...

I'm swooning over your pictures. seriously.

Mrs Nespy said...

You are absolutely hilarious. I'm glad I found you here in Blogland. I'll be back.

JCK said...

What anglophile said, but worse. OH, Holly you are HYSTERICAL - in deed and artwork! What a tale.

katy (aka funny girl) said...

I'm reading this pretty early in the morning and I'm realizing you're going to have to be later-in-the-day reading for me. I'm laughing too hard and it hurts and I haven't had a diet coke yet!

LOL!!

binky ink said...

I'm a little concerned that all of your outfits are sheer. What's up with that? You are so risque!

The (Almost) Amazing Mammarino said...

Ohmygoodness, I just discovered your blog and I have not laughed this hard in ages!!!!

Purple Teacup said...

I can't tell you how many times I've read this, and I just didn't know what to say. I still don't- but I will say that if I had never started reading your blog I would have NEVER guessed what you are all about. LOL

Jenny, the Bloggess said...

You rock:
http://blogs.chron.com/goodmombadmom/2008/05/bs_sunday_2.html

Annabelle said...

How funny, I think I will join the golfers in a laugh at your expense, I hope you don't mind! :D

I know I'm a bit late in the game to be reading this post. Heidi from Frantically Simple had told me she got the idea of "Adventures in Heidi" from you and pointed me in this direction.

Anonymous said...

Your story (and illustrations) are great. I can picture the foursome of men out for an early morning round of golf and then you fell out of the woods in your shorty pajamas.

I hope your husband is ashamed that he did not do trap checking chore.

Eudae-mamia said...

Oh my WORD!! Obviously new to the board, but so glad I'm finally here. Thanks for the laugh. The new school week has sapped me dry - but THAT is hilarious - in a "glad it didn't happen to me, but VERY sorry it happened to you" kind of way.

I'll leave you with one of my all-time favorite movie quotes...

"Nice beaver!"

"Thanks, I just got it stuffed."

EM

Debbie said...

Holly, I hadn't ever read this! Thanks for choosing this one to link too. It is so great. I am in awe of your talent. Thanks for playing along.

Jane! said...

Too funnY! Love your drawing!

anglophilefootballfanatic.com said...

This is one of my favs of yours, too.

Jesica said...

Hi, I'm Jesi. I don't know how I found you. I started on http://nowenteringmomville.blogspot.com/2008/11/want-me-to-link-you.html which led me to http://suburbsanity.blogspot.com/2008/11/cocktail-party-in-suburb-and-youre.html and then suddenly there were beavers.

Aaaaanyhoo - just wanted to tell you that you are hysterical, and I just subscribed. Thanks for making me laugh. Hard! and for a long time.

Jannie said...

This is absolutely one of the funniest web things I have ever read. Super-Dudos to your efforts.

Reluctant Housewife said...

Ha! Great story.

I think I need some snake fighting boots.

m0ix said...

Hilarious Drawing :D I must say you are creative and made For that :P LMAO

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