I am linking to my fabulous friend Marcy at the Glamorous Life to show how absolutely fabulous my house looks (if you keep all the closet doors shut) for this week's G.I.R.L. party!






Dear Nirvana Reader,

I come to you. Not because others have. I come to you to tell my story of havoc. I come to you to not for sympathy. Bah Humbug on sympathy. I don't need any therapeutic talk. My life delights me.

I am Holly's toy closet.

I am situated next to the living room in a convenient location under the stairs. My expanse is great. My ceilings are angled. Holly designed me with 5 shelves filled with wicker baskets and enough space to accommodate books standing in a row. She covered my concrete floor with a fluffy play-friendly rug. Because of my handy location I am an obvious catch-all. When the doorbell rings...my door opens and toys get thrown into me at a pace that would rival a major league pitch. That makes sense. It is good to have a place to hide things temporarily.

Every once in awhile my perky hostess takes an afternoon to sort me out. She pulls all the toys out into the entry. Sorts them by shape, color and age suitability. She sends 80% of my contents to who knows elsewhere and then packs me naively back with the wicker baskets and Brother P-touch labels into pristine condition.

This girl. She isn't just a half-full kind of person. She is a "it really looks like it might be 3/4 full and I am going to sip slowly and enjoy it, but I am sure there is more" kind of person. What a load of optimistic crap.

Let us have a reality check. THREE BOYS. MILLIONS OF TOYS. Three boys whose millions of toys have millions of pieces. Millions of pieces, Oh the joy! Boys. Toys. Pieces. Joy!

So I ask what is the point of the toy sort? Why does she waste her time? She doesn't know my nature. I live on chaos. Messy is my middle name...Holly's MESSY Toy closet (I guess Messy is my first name). Whatever. What do I care. I am a mess. I can take a pristine toy sort and turn it into toy hell in less then 15 minutes. Don't think I can't. Don't underestimate me. Let me prove it:


Boys. Toys. Pieces. JOY!

Oh, the sight of me just makes me happy. But what tickles me even more is the horrified gasp and naughty word muttering that happens every time Holly opens the door. Now that is worth my existence. Don't pity me. I am in a good place.

Lovingly,
Holly's messy toy closet of the devil
P.S. Where are Maisy's pants?

40 comments:

spinning in our own direction said...

HA HA .. gld to see someone elses toy closet looks like mine... and why do we spend all that time sorting and it just looks the same way a week later???

Valarie said...

Darn closests they are evil just evil!

Angie said...

Dear Messy Toy Closet,

I assume being in Texas, the house in which you resides does not have a basement. Be thankful. In a house with a basement like ours, the naive female co-owner can shut the door and not notice your horrific presence for days on end until the trail from your door begins to creep to the bottom of the stairs and she spies the head of a power ranger taunting her each time she closes the door.

KEEP BELIEVING

Courtney said...

This is too funny. I would love t live in your brain.

slow panic said...

that is like a picture of my entire house. watch where you step.

Suzie said...

Ah yes dreaded closets only in Manhattan we have no closets so like Slow Panic it is sadly our whole apartment. Sniff

InTheFastLane said...

Toy closets, kids rooms, they are the same. Close the door, keep walking and take deep breaths because they always revert to their natural state of chaos, withing seconds of closing the door.

Baby Mamma aka Tamra said...

I gave up.
My eleven yr old now has the privilege of cleaning and sorting the toy closet. I hear him saying things he must have learned from the previous closet organizer, whoever she was. Tsk tsk.

Chandra said...

I always knew that evil toy closet was out to get me!

MoscowMom said...

I second Suzie in Manhattan... We have no closets... and we have no basement, no attic... Not even a balcony or porch... Everything we own is shoved into these 105 square meters... STACKED up as high as I can make them go. A few weeks ago a bag tossed on top of a bin slid down and I had Melissa and Dough wooden puzzle pieces, hammers and beads crash upon my head and poor unsuspecting feet. I uttered quite a few words your closet would have enjoyed hearing! I seriously need to go through this place and DONATE, DONATE, DONATE... I just know, though, that as soon as I'd get rid of all outgrown toys, I'd unintentionally get pregnant. I think of my clutter as "Murphy's Law" birth control--and with this much stuff, where on earth would we put another kid, anyway :-) ??!!

Lil Mouse said...

your last 3 posts have made me giggle. time to institute a 'put it away' song and get them to pitch in putting stuff away. also time to get closable totes and put that junk all away for a couple of weeks, then take turns with what was hidden for 2 weeks and hide the stuff that was still in the closet. they appreciate it so much more when they dont get it all at once. its overwhelming.

ps any ideas on how to keep in laws or parents from buying too many toys? set up a savings account or suggest clothes? umm what do you do? or do you just give in?

Burgh Baby's Mom said...

When did you sneak into my house and take a picture of my living room?

jennifer h said...

I'd say that the fact that Maisy's pants are off? Not a good sign. Could explain how the toys seem to reproduce at such an alarming rate.

I suggest you pretend you're going to move, pack most of the toys into Rubbermaid containers, and wait for the eventual day when your kids forget about most of them.

Of course, then, without toys, you'll have to entertain your kids. So this could come back to bite you.

Angie said...

Holly,

No worries on your Vintage Thirty comment because you did not even remotely offend me. AT. ALL. I get your point in LOTS of ways. I do not ever use Brian's parking placard without him, but I see lots who do. So sad. Even when we do use it, sometimes I feel so bad about it, but not as much when it is brutally cold outside. I think when the weather gets nicer (IF EVER) I will encourage him not to use it. I can't really comprehend using it in nice weather for situations like - going to a mall or a carnival with the kids when we are getting ready to walk a bunch anyway. I think I push him too much and too hard, though. I don't know how he feels, but I do know that he often tells me he needs to sit....

Personally, I was intrigued to learn your B.C. life was in P.T.

Well, off to pack the car for our wild, crazy, exciting, exotic Iowa and Nebraska adventure.

KEEP BELIEVING

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

One of the unsung joys of the teenage years. Very few toys (altough you do have very expensive surfboards, mountain bikes, and snowboards; but still, no small pieces).

Lisa said...

too funny!
Your closet looks like three of our rooms ;)
Thanks for adding me to your box!

Allie said...

You are quite funny! I found you over at Tootsie's and I just wanted to stop by and say hi. You can do the same if you feel so inclined.

Pinky said...

Wow. That makes me want to makes some tea, shut that door, and pretent it's not there.

Tootsie Farklepants said...

Is it bad that I tell my kids they aren't allowed to play with their toys when I've done mass organizing?

Nap Warden said...

Holy moly...is this what I have to look forward to?!!!

fullheartandhands mama said...

Too funny. This is how I feel about my daughter's closet. Or rather how my daughter's closet feels about me.

Rachael said...

Hmmm. I do that same thing whenever I walk in to my kid's playroom (the exclaming and the naughty word muttering whenever I open a door.) Who knew I was merely spreading cheer...

binky ink said...

I am scared of the baby house. Especially since Maisy and I are almost the same size...I fear our fates may match and I'll end up lost in the pile - and possibly with missing pants too. Now THAT'S scary!

GHD said...

Your closet, my WHOLE house... and I only have the ONE boy :-P

thanks for the laughs!!!

Candi said...

LOL! Get used to it.... it never ends.

elizabeth embracing life said...

oh honey....!!! I just this week, no kidding purchased from Target containers that my three boys CAN NOT OPEN. Hallelujah!!! They are now stacked high on a shelf. They must ask me for permission to get a tub of toys down. I will only take down a few at a time, and guess what, they can't figure out how to open these things. So my playroom has been clean, usable space for a week. The longest. I loved your invitation into the mind of your closet. I just have one question....how did you break into my house and take that picture of what my playroom has looked like for months?

EatPlayLove said...

Definitely not alone on this one. I love the feeling of well sorted toys, all housed in baskets, tucked away.

I've also told my daughter to step away from her organized toys, begging her to just give me a moment to enjoy things picked up!

baby~amore' said...

I loved this ... thanks Holly's closet for sharing your wisdom.

A toy messy closet sounds wonderful - we have two rooms .. make that four with toys spread everywhere and we only have two small boys and 1 monster teen.

I am so glad I am not alone LOL in my OCD sorting the million of toys and pieces.

cce said...

This is exactly the reason my children are not allowed to have toys, just saves so much time in the long run. Here kids, go busy yourself with some spoons and and tupperware lids. They know no different. They'll turn out fine, right?

Beth said...

I think Maisy's pants are somewhere in my toy closet! How did that happen?

Domestic Accident said...

Maisy wears pants?!

Marlee said...

LOVE this post. I actually love sorting through my kids' stuff and getting rid of most of it periodically--it's cathartic, really! But then they're still young enough that they don't notice... ;)

Greta said...

It's stuff like this that makes me weep with joy. I have piles o' crap in every room of my house.

Greta said...

It's stuff like this that makes me weep with joy. I have piles o' crap in every room of my house.

Purple Teacup said...

I have to send you a picture of our, I mean, my pristine playroom. LOL

JCK said...

I would die for this closet! Messy or not...

Stimey said...

How did you get in my house to take a picture of my closet?

The Glamorous Life said...

Gosh thanks for coming to my party! Mr. Linky is totally drunk and hitting on all the girls...so watch out!

I once spent 8 hours sorting legos- by color into buckets. Yeah- that took about 2 days to get messed up. And yet- I keep trying.

Why? Because it is GLAMOROUS!

Shauna said...

holy crap holly!

Sugar Mommy said...

Totally cracking up!!! Thanks for the insight in to the mind of the toy closet. :)

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