Background information: I have been blogging for over a year now. While most of my friends and family have been subjected to reading this blog, one person has refused. That person is my husband, blog-Stedman.



I got the phone call.

The phone call I had been expecting for some time, but it still caught me off guard.

Hello?

Hi. I have been reading your blog...

*freeze*

*act natural!*

Oh, really?

Yes. I didn't know you liked to play games with people in elevators.

Ya, I guess that isn't something someone easily works into conversation. I have been telling you that you might learn something about me if you read the blog.

I don't want to learn anything! I live your blog.

*change the subject!*

So what are you reading?

I was trying to find pictures of Rhett dressed as a chicken to show some people at work. I figured you would have those on your blog.

*insert Holly's instructions on how to use lijit search box to right here*
*mention Chicken of the Week*

Thanks. The blog is funny. You write a lot of stuff.

Thanks.

But I can't read it. It drives me crazy. I can't take it.

Can't take WHAT? I have left off your image or anything negative about you! You are often the hero of the story!

It isn't that. It is your grammar. And the misspellings. And the messed up capitalization. You need an editor.

YOU are my editor, but you have refused to read the blog!

Good point.

I thought I was doing pretty well. I mean I write A LOT OF STUFF! Tell me what is wrong. I will go fix it when I get home. That is the beauty of the blog...it can be changed, updated, edited at a later date. It isn't like a printed page that can't be changed! I need your help.

Well, I did write out this list...


And so dear reader, the Nirvana archives are undergoing an overhaul. I am listening to blog-Stedman. I may even give him a peek before I hit publish if he is feeling strong enough to handle all my mistakes...

57 comments:

Marinka said...

That's why you should always screen your calls.

Eudea-Mamia said...

Nooooooooooooooooooooooo! Hands! Off! (smack. smack.)

Don't change a single word. And this is a professional opinion from an 11-year PROFESSIONAL copy editor.

Back away from the archives B.S. (no pun intended).

Em

jill jill bo bill said...

Tell me it isn't so.......hide all the red pens.

Brittany said...

Oh crap, i dread the day my phone call comes.

Roger said...

Edit Schmedit, who needs it? Well, maybe some commenters (myself especially). It is you, and what is wrong with that.

If you make mistakes like I do on my blog (misspelling daughter's middle name comes to mind), it's good to have a once over by a loved one. Especially if they add snarky comments for everyone to see. :)

Rambling over now, back to your regularly scheduled sane comments.

Valarie said...

No, No, No, I like it the way it is. I have not noticed any mistakes. Does that say something about my grammer abilities. Was any of this grammatically correct??? Hav eye mispeled anithang????

Kalynne Pudner said...

My husband refuses to read my blog, too! But not from any aversion to copy editing errors. I think he's afraid. His secretary reads it, and tells him (selectively, I think) what's on it.

Scary Mommy said...

Oh, NO!!!! My husband is a writer, too (a far better one than I.) I DO NOT allow him to read my posts before hand and never let him edit them. This is all MINE. He does once in a while, try to alter something and I just tell him to get his own damn blog. And, I also wish I had kept it anonymous. I have some crazy ass family I'd love to write about!

Suzie said...

I think you do a great job without an editor.

Jennifer said...

hey there. this post is hilarious, as always!! :) My hubby doesn't read my blog... and i guess i wouldn't mind so much if he did... but he is critical of what i would type and how i would type it and all that... but not in a constructive way like Blog-Stedman. :) i think your blog is fine... but then again i just read it... i'm not checking out the grammer speling or HOW OFTN U USE CAPITALS!!! or YOUR!! punkUATION!!??....... LOL :P

keep up the good work!!!

xxoxoxoxooxoxx

Happy Campers said...

Yay Blog Steadman!! Jeff reads my blogs AND all the comments...he even said that one Weekly Winners set of pics must not have been that good because I didn't get more than 1 comment. Notice I don't do the WW anymore? Yeah. Thanks for the helpful comment lovey :)

TL said...

Hee-Larious!
But remember, sometimes the best stuff ends up on the editing room floor!

Weaselmomma said...

why is it that the people who actually know us in real life are the least likely to be willing to read our blogs. And we can't even post embarrassing stories about them(rich material too) because someday we will get 'the call'.

Renée aka Mekhismom said...

I think the beauty of blogging is in the imperfection. We aren't professional writers here. Well, some of us are but that is not my point.
I think the ability to publish your words and touch other people is beautiful. Editing be damned. (I could use an editor too. I barely self edit. Oh well.)

InTheFastLane said...

Is your husband, my husband? Seriously, does he have a double life as a middle school math teacher in Indiana? Because my husband would do the same thing. If I want something edited, he is my go to guy. Always. I always make grammar and spelling mistakes and then miss them on my read through. But, he reads slowly enough to catch every single one. But, even though he knows about my blog, I don't think he has been reading because I haven't got this phone call... yet.

Threeboys1mommy said...

Editor Shmeditor! My husband has no idea what I'm up to over here... I think he thinks I'm chatting with his replacement I met over at eHarmony.

Madge said...

no! no husbands allowed. oh, that sounds bad. my husband, thank god, has taken no interest in my blogging whatsoever....

Mrs Parks said...

My husband reads my blog DAILY.
I think it makes him feel big to see his name online.
I'm just lucky that his grammer and speling is worser than mine!

sticky said...

I'm not sure my hubby could find my blog (thank God) not that I have written anything about him...(that I have published)

Still, that was really funny and I hope you don't let him change Too much!

Jennifer H said...

May the force be with you!

Angie Ledbetter said...

Better late than never on B.S. reading your words?

I recently asked DH (Deer Hunter) if he saw my blog. Him: "Um, no, you flushed before I got in there."

What can ya say?

Have my Holly-inspired "drawerings" up today, so drop by if you get a chance. :)

Teresa R said...

tell you dh if he wants to edit something, go do his own blog and leave you alone to do your very funny one! :>

Connie said...

If I let the hubby edit my blog I would probably have to remove half of it and all of the funny Mormon stories would be lost!

On a limb with Claudia said...

Had to happen, Miss Holly. The long fingers of the MAN have reached into your blog....

I'm glad he (and his long fingers) is finally reading the damn thing... sheez.

Rachael said...

Oh, that is hilarious. My husband says the same thing: that he lives the blog, therefore he cannot read it. But, on the rare occasions that he does read he is usually quick to pipe in that "it didn't really happen exactly that way." He has threatened to start his own behind the scenes full disclosure version of "Always Wanted Four..." Again, I'm all, "you wouldn't DARE!" Besides, people do not want every single detail: they want a story. If it doesn't fit in my (version of the) story: it gets axed! (The joys of being your own editor! :))

Elizabeth said...

Don't do it!!!
What would we do without the CAPS, the .....'s, the silliness???
He might edit it all out!
I like the way your blog is sort of stream of consciousness...not too stuffy.
Blessings.

Meg said...

Yikes! El Jefe reads mine from time to time...silly me...I encouraged him way back when I started!

I love your blog...always have.


Hugs!

Jenni Jiggety said...

Oh...tell him no more correcting or he sleeps on the couch!

And don't you have a diorama to work on???

80sMom said...

I just came across your blog today - and really enjoyed it!

Check out mine too ;-)

blissfullycaffeinated said...

I've had that same conversation with my husband, except without the elevator reference. It is definitely uncomfortable.

My husband only reads my blog to see if he's mentioned. As long as he doesn't see his name, I don't hear a peep out of him.

Thanks for dropping by mt blog. I'm glad the election talk is over, too. Back to my regularly scheduled programming! :)

Barney Moran said...

we all read, we are all one.

As Lijit has been attacking the blogger's union, we are recommending Publishers avoid intstalling Lijiti software pending revenue and content ownership issues.

Thanks for this post!

Barney Moran
Founder, P.U.B.

Beck said...

My husband only reads my blog when I tell him to. I figure his theory is that he gets enough of me just by living with me and having me call him 30 times a day at work. or something.

Heinous said...

My wife doesn't read mine. Oh well. My grammar is usually impeccable though. Well, if you allow for the usual Internet laxity.

Elaine A. said...

Huh? I've never seen any mistakes on your blog. Guess I am a dummy.

Glad your man is now reading.

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

I'm pretty grammar-police-y myself and I've never been bothered by anything you've written. Tell blog-Stedman to back off or he won't' be invited to Monday potluck!

Manic Mommy said...

It's so funny to see how many husbands don't like us blogging. Andy views it as a necessary evil. He reads every post - initially to police it - but now "enjoys" it. He rarely corrects my spelling but will point out typos but I'm anal and want him to.

What aggravates me is his neuroses about having the boy's pictures, real names, etc. out in the big, bad blogosphere.

ScaryMom said...

My husband is always learning new things via my blog. I'm not saying he always likes the things he learns...but at least it starts a discussion.
Great post!

Insta-mom said...

If it was that bad, I totally wouldn't read here...I'm an English teacher and it would drive me crazy.

Although with that said, maybe Blog-Stedman would like to come teach my classes for me? I've had about my fill of 14-year-olds for the year, thanks.

laughingatchaos said...

Poor grammar and misspellings? Where?

jubilee said...

The Calm One only reads my blog after other family members mention something about it.

I tell him his memory is faulty when he makes the mistake of taking issue with the EXACT details of how a story happened. And then I threaten to make his sit and listen to the "Jubilee" version (the Loooooong Version) of the entire day. That usually does it.

The Stiletto Mom said...

Ha! My husband almost never reads my blog either. In the beginning I made him read every single post before I hit publish. He got tired of that pretty fast.

The worst was one time his mother called him to ask him if we were okay after I wrote about a silly five minute argument we had. That was an uncomfortable moment...I had to assure her we have much bigger arguments that I don't write about...which didn't calm her down either. :)

MoziEsmé said...

Scary scary scary. You're in my prayers!

anglophilefootballfanatic.com said...

You're letting him have full access? You're brave, H. Pup is not allowed to touch content.

frogpondsrock said...

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kellan said...

Why is it that our husband show little interest in our blogs? This was so funny, Holly! I think you do a great job, btw and can't imagine anyone finding too many errors (I've never noticed errors in your posts - not that I would be the one to find errors - I can't spell ...). My husband has only ever read anything on my blog when he is lying in bed and reads something over my shoulder when I'm typing on my laptop next to him. He does love opening and teasing me about my "huge" BlogHer checks, though - HA!

Have a good weekend - Kellan

AMomTwoBoys said...

NOTHING good can come from family members reading your blog. Trust me, I know.

Kelley said...

The only person I know in real life that knows about my blog is my husband.

And that is only cause I needed his help to set up the self hosted thingy.

He thought I wrote about housework and cooking.

*snort*

Now he knows different and is too scared to correct my grammar. Or sleep with both eyes closed...

spinning in our own direction said...

Doesn't he have X -rays and that type of crap to read. HE ahs enough other stuff to read and comment on.. Tee hee. love ya blog-stedman..

Seriously good greif Dont send him to my blog..
BTW when you finish with the Pukefest 08 Button I need ONE!!! hopefully only ONE!!!

Tiffany said...

My husband has always loved reading my blog...I don't think I could get him to stop. But I get to work from home while he has to go off to see "the man" so the blogs are sometimes the only bit of normalcy he gets during the day :)

I can't rant about him then...but I have plenty of other people I know are reading that also make rants dangerous so I just find less obvious ways to vent.

JCK said...

Don't let that Editor be too heavy handed. We love you just the way you are.

Plus, blog writing is very different from novel writing, by GOD! Tell him the woman in fishnets will be by to drop off her BOY to add to his boys. :0

Soliloquy said...

Blog Stedman is MISSING THE WHOLE POINT.

Blogging doesn't require correct punctuation or editing. It's writing the way you talk.

Don't let him steal your voice!!!

BTW - sounds like you should have pushed a little harder to have us come to your house. Sounds like we missed something. And now I have to COME BACK!!!

Auds at Barking Mad said...

Wow....just wow.

Can any good come when a husband puts his oar in?

Threeundertwo said...

*snort* I love the phrase "blog Stedman." My husband keeps saying "I'm a little behind reading. . ." which means he never ever reads it. At least yours is interested.

Braja said...

Blog Stedman is a control freak. Don't let him near it. Like Marinka says, that's why you should screen your calls. Your problem is you answered.

Miss Britt said...

You? Are a saint. If my husband FINALLY started showing an interest in my blog and corrected my spelling, grammar, or punctuation I'd -

- well I'd probably light him on fire because I'd know he was an alien robot drone.

phd in yogurtry said...

Grammar and spelling, my arse. It's plainly obvious he's just ravenously jealous of your cyber life and your elevator antics.

tysdaddy said...

"Well, I did write out this list..."

I am SO that man! Go Stedman . . .

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