Poor Abby.

She started out as an only child.

Pampered.
The objection of affection.
Celebrated.


She had the run of the house.

I mean she ran the house...


And then a human baby came along.

Poor Abby.

She was fine for about a year.
Continuing as before...
until the human baby started walking.

Then her 50 lbs. of bulldog exuberance became a problem.

She is the most hyper bulldog I know.

She would get excited and jump.

50 lbs. of bulldog exuberance jump.

Poor human baby.

During that first year the human baby seemed to always be CONTAINED in something.
A swing.
A bouncy seat.
A walker.
A bouncer.
A stroller.
A crib.


These were all Abby buffers.
Human baby safety bubbles.

When human baby began to walk.
He walked AWAY from the safety of the buffers.
He walked TOWARD Abby.

It was just too exciting for Abby - she needed to greet human baby with 50 lbs. of bulldog exuberance.

She needed to be put outside.

Poor Abby.

And that is how Abby ended up an outdoor dog.

As she aged she has gotten less hyper. As she aged I have gotten more children.

Abby's clout has dropped. and dropped. and dropped.

Poor Abby.

She is still 50 lbs. of bulldog exuberance when the kids go outdoors to play.

For awhile I put her in a different part of the yard so she wouldn't knock them down. Now that both the kids and the dog are older I figure the kids can outrun her.

Ryan (8) doesn't have a problem with the dog. He just has a problem with not wanting to go outside sometimes. The other day we had friends over and this was overheard:

McKenzie (8): Your dog is so cute.
Ryan: Does that mean you want to go out and see her?
Yes! Let's go out and see her.
You don't want to do that.
Why?
Our dog always bites new people.
Really?
Yes, our dog has bit me several times.
Oh.
Let's go upstairs and play.
OK.

Poor Abby.

To set the record straight - Abby has never bit anyone in her life.

Blog-Stedman addressed the lies immediately. The next morning at breakfast I could not stop thinking about it and brought it up again:

Me: Ryan, why would you tell someone that Abby bit you?
Ryan: Well, she might have tried once.
I would NEVER have a dog around that would bite! Never.
Don't give away Abby! I love her.
Why would I give her away?
Because she bites people.
But she doesn't. Why would you say that when it isn't true?
Please don't give my dog away!

Yes, this argument could have continued in this circular manner for hours. By the end of the conversation I was on the defensive. Assuring him that the dog was going no where.

Poor me.

I say bring the dog inside and put the human out in the back yard...

21 comments:

Manic Mommy said...

Our poor dog definitely dropped a few notches on the totem pole after children. Luckily (for her) she's only 14 lbs of mini schnauzer exuberance and gets to live inside.

So glad your head didn't explode after that conversation.

Tina in CT said...

Now that your boys are older, can't Abby come back inside to be part of the family? Can you work with a trainer to curb her of the jumping?

CaJoh said...

I agree with Tina, there has to be a way to have the dog be included in the pack. Many times dogs tend to jump to show dominance. Praising gentle behavior and being stern when they are not is a good place to start. But you have to be consistent in your training or else the dog will get confused and frustrated.

beachmom said...

we are just getting ready to look at considering maybe someday "soon" adding a dog to our clan ... I will look for the jumping and biting tendencies! I will look to you for some suggestions!!

Madge said...

my sam started out as an only dog and now has another dog, two kids and a cat to content with. no wonder she peed on my bed....

kelliebean said...

Kid logic makes my head hurt.

♥georgie♥ said...

awwww poor Abby...we have a weenee dog...she is insane...

Misty said...

LOVED this... and amen. I agree... kick the humans out.

Angie Ledbetter said...

Poor Abby and moms have a LOT in common. I've heard my kids have very similar conversations about me as I've been put further and further out in the yard as they've become teenagers. :)

Happy Campers said...

See, Ryan has some scary-legal logic! Turn the conversation around so YOU feel bad, and take the focus away from the lie he told. What a master! :)

MamaHen Em said...

Aaaand that's why we don't have a dog! Aaaand I put my kids in the backyard all of the time. Exactly where they should be!

Maya said...

I wish I oculd put a dog and my kids in the backyard. Alas, I dont have a backyard or a dog. I do have kids though.

Renee said...

That's cute. But I just hate dogs. Sorry, no offense. I am just not a dog person. Even the chihuahuas we had were a pain. They had to go. I prefer cats. Actually I prefer babies. The kind that don't bite. :)

jill jill bo bill said...

I will trade you Andy for Abby. He doesn't bite or jump. And he sings. We are working on his tango. Do you want him this weekend?

Roger said...

I think Ryan should definitely go into law, or at least join the debate team. He had me convinced that you were giving his poor lovable dog away. Sheesh! What kind of mother are you anyway? :)

Dumblond said...

You have my dad's favorite dog! He has wanted a bulldog for sooo long...my mom is prejudiced. She thinks they are stinky.
I can't identify. We got our dog after our kids were born. He has grown up with them. Which has been kinda nice...except trying to potty train a kid and house break a puppy...not so nice.

the planet of janet said...

i have a couple of rat dogs i could send you.

then abby would have something(s) to play with.

tony said...

Hey , have you try to play with slot cars .I bought my slot car set from http://www.slotmotors.com they are cheap

Jadekitty said...

Sounds like my poor kitty, he loves attention. But bring new people in and he's outta here.
Or try taking him outside (a place he wishes he could visit more) and he will leave you with a scratch on the door and your arm.

Tina in CT said...

At this stage in my life, I'll take a dog over a kid.

I have a dachshund (my third one).

Burgh Baby said...

Meg, in all of her Bulldog exuberance, has REFUSED to fall down the totem pole. Turns out that if an over-hyper 55-pound dog wants to do something? She can figure out a way to force you to give in. It's enough to make me wish I could use that thing from Honey I Shrunk the Kids to minimize our little Bully problem.

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