It was a bit inconvenient for me when Ryan(8) learned to read. Blog-Stedman and I had to stop spelling things in public.

We adjusted.
Life went on.

What has been much more difficult to deal with is his ability to understand time.

Not just the time of day.
Not just the day of the week.
Not just the month.

But the date.

The date.

Super crap.

He is the date police.

The Barney Fife of expiration dates.

I am not trying to feed my family over-due food. I am very conscientious of expiration dates on dairy and meat products, but I might slide....just a bit on some of the other food groups.

If a bag of chips sits unopened in the pantry for 45 days, does it REALLY need to be wasted?
If a can of pumpkin puree might have been left-over from 4 Thanksgivings ago, can't I sneak it into a 2009 pumpkin pie?
If a jar of pickles has been refrigerated, can't I believe in the preserving powers of pickle juice beyond what a calendar says?

Not according to Ryan.
Absolutely not!

The first thing he does when he comes into the kitchen is check the date on whatever I am preparing. If the date is overdue, he lays down the law. If the date is coming soon, he leads an expiration interrogation.

If you pour him milk in the morning and then put it back in the fridge, he is going to ask to see it before drinking.

And no amount of my reassurance will suffice.

Recently we went out to eat. We were all sitting at the table eating chips and salsa waiting for our food to arrive. Ryan picked up the chip container and looked at the bottom:

"Where is the expiration date?"


spinning in our own direction said...

Just wait til he looks on the bottom of your shoe.. mom where is your expiration date?

Goldfish said...

It must be a developmental milestone. My 8-yo does the exact same thing. I'm going to put him in charge of cleaning the fridge.

Beth (A Mom's Life) said...

I'm still adjusting to the no more spelling in front of my 6 year old. And now you are telling me I can't serve my family expired food???!!!! This parenting thing just keeps getting harder and harder!

Anonymous said...

What a great post. I am the date police at our home. Mr. S will eat anything that doesn't spout legs and walk out of the fridge on it's own penicillin power...

Misty said...

thats hilarious... that could add an interest (and slightly infuriating) element to the day...

Deborah at Coco Bonbons said...

That is so funny! I wonder what got him started on that?

JCK said...

Oh, my... Make sure that attack van of yours is not expired!

Jenni Jiggety said...

Perfect! Put him in charge of your license and registration and you'll never have to worry about it again!

Eudae-Mamia said...

Hubs and I were just discussing the other night that in some intances, illiteracy is highly underated - enter my newly reading kindergartener. You can't hide a damn thing from that all-knowing kid.

Really looking forward to the date thing.

Anonymous said...

Omigosh!!!! And thank goodness my house is not the only place where Ryan's expiration date policing was taking place. I was getting peronoid thinking that my house was the the only target of his policing tactics! Every time I pulled out something to eat, he had to check the date first! What a relief to know I'm not the only victim! Mimi

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