This is my tissue box:



Which is fine except really nothing in my entire house is that tealish-jewel-tone-80s-prom-dress-that-has-been-collecting-dust-in-my-closet-for-20-years-fading-and-slowly-rotting-away-greenish color. Lucky for me it also comes in this color:



Which is fine except really nothing in my entire house is that pepto-pinkish-chewed-up-bubble-gum-that-was-spit-on-the-sidewalk-and-trapped-into-the-crevices-of-your-shoe-only-to-be-deposited-on-your-new-beige-carpet-where-the-dog-licked-it-until-you-put-her-outside-to-clean-up-the-mess-while-your-children-created-a-river-in-the-extra-bath-by-building-a-sink-damn-washed-out-rosish color. Lucky for me it also comes in this color:



Which is fine except really nothing in my entire house is that greyish-skies-so-dark-it-could-be-a-storm-brewing-or-it-could-just-be-those-blue-feelings-that-you-consider-committing-yourself-to-a-mental-institution-for-a-48-hour-watch-and-really-blue-is-much-prettier-then-this-so-you-are-insulting-blue-when-you-call-it-blue-bluish color.

What is with "decorative" tissue boxes?

There is really no excuse for this. The companies that produce these spend millions of dollars in product research. They employ thousands of employees dedicated to bringing me a box of tissue. Why couldn't they employ an artist or interior designer in JUST ONE of those positions?

Let's go shopping! I obviously missed the "really good stuff" on the paper products aisle:



What is THAT color? And for the record I have never ever seen a rose look so gloomy.



Alright! Finally something with some sort of style. But this only was made in bright fuschia because everyone's kitchens, bathrooms and bedrooms are bright fuschia!



Here is a simple design 4 pack. With a grey sunflower, an weird orangish sunflower and two purple sunflowers. So, let me get this straight...they are selling this in a 4 pack because they expected that these 3 colors will fit right into my house?

Before you start re-painting your walls grey sunflower, weird orangish and too purple, you might want this information:



Yes, my dear reader, you will have to ACT QUICKLY because this set is for a limited time ONLY!

So then I saw this three pack:



I liked the top box:



Despite it being in a color scheme of pink and orange. I was going to look beyond that just because it was cute. Well, in context of the world of "decorative" tissue boxes it was cute.

It was packaged with this soccer-themed box (which sports that same weird green color):



And this perky box:


Which required closer inspection. I then noticed they all have this label:



Yes, this is Puff's "anything but old-school" series. Finally, a tissue company puts the EDGY back in blowing your nose. This is what I have been waiting for.



Graffiti art tissue boxes...



decorated with skulls.

Perfect for my yellow painted GRUNGE themed masterbath...

65 comments:

Rachael said...

OK, so you either bought all those tissues (just for the post) OR you took all those pictures at Target. Which is it. Fess up.

Either way, you are cracking me up. Maybe you'll get a job offer. I think you should do a marker mock-up of your suggested designs.

Tricia said...

I despise the tissue aisle. I start to actually believe the box is supposed to compliment my home, and as you point out...none of these compliment any body's home. Well, maybe the grunge themed master bath.

Domestic Accident said...

"anything but old school"? That just hurts.

Happy Campers said...

My gosh, you read my mind. I just bought the 4 pack of beige/orange/purple flowered square tissues & I always think "Why are the boxes so lame?"

I won't pay an extra $2 for the hollographic Christmas boxes, so I'm always stuck with the ugly boxes.

I liiiiike the skulls though. Cute, for a kleenex!

Manic Mommy said...

Same question as Rachel: did you really buy all those tissues? And if so, have you considered seeing an allergist?

Shannon said...

I know I am new here and probably have no right to say this but........ put the tissue boxes down and walk away! You are in need of a tissue intervention! I thought my mom had issues with stock piling! You got her beat in this area!
Please tell me that these are no all yours!

Tanya said...

This is too funny! And reflective of my own thoughts while walking through CVS. I'm with the others. Did you buy all these just for this post??

The good news: you could always get one of those plastic canvas and yarn tissue box covers. Those are SO MUCH more fashionable!! Ooh, ooh! Or the puffy calico and lace quilted ones you find at Grandma's house! Sure to improve your home decor. :)

SuburbanCorrespondent said...

I am so glad to see that I am not the only one who frets about the ugliness of Kleenex boxes.

Threeundertwo said...

Is it a bad thing to admit I buy paper towels for their cute designs?

I think June Cleaver would have had some sort of bakelite cover for her tissue box. Which was only in the bathroom, not one in each room of the house and the car like we do today.

And I confess after Christmas I load up on the holographic tissue boxes when they go on clearance.

the planet of janet said...

tish! you spoke french!!!!!

InTheFastLane said...

Or...you just give up on tissue all together and tell your kids to use toilet paper if they happen to need to blow their nose. Not, that I would do that...
Maybe it is time to go way old school and go back to hankies :)

Suzie said...

Wow did you really buy all those tissue boxes. You are very dedicated in keeping us up to date on tissues. Thank you.

Louise said...

I'm thinking it would be exhausting to go shopping with Holly!

But who else could make a post so funny about tissue boxes?

My advice? Get a cover. You can buy one somewhere, but I usually don't like those. Maybe you could talk Madge into making you something cool to cover the boxes. You could pick the fabric.

Or your friend that made you the boot/shorty pajamas decorations could make something.

Or you could make something. I think the answer is something custom-made. Do you scrapbook? Some designer paper and chipboard could do wonders. But actually, I think getting someone else to do it would be the wisest. (Not because you can't, but because they CAN!)

A Mom Two Boys said...

Walk away from the kleenex. Walk. AWAY.

Did you buy more crocs too? Does Blog-Stedman know about this?

Lisa@verybusymomwith4 said...

Nothing like looking at a bunch of skulls when you feel like you are about to die from your cold ;)

And anything but old school?! What the heck is that--don't they know old school is the new cool? I am guessing 80 year olds run the tissue packaging department. Be on the look out for the pretty dolie addition!

Courtney said...

You can post about anything and make it interesting, can't you.

EatPlayLove said...

LOL! You are too funny. I have the cutest tissue box, it has gerbera daisies on it (with those options maybe I should look into re-filling it). I buy tissues about once every couple of years.

Karen said...

Ha ha !!! Too funny! We are very classy and usually just blow our noses on toilet paper.

Soliloquy said...

WHO gets a brilliant post out of trashy looking Kleenex boxes?

I suck at blogging.

Janet said...

I think that last pic might end up being my new tat ;-)

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

I just roll with tissue box covers. 'Cause I buy the Costco giganta-pak and they're not into the whole "design" thing.

The Mom said...

Maybe I shouldn't complain when my kids use their sleeves anymore!

Misty said...

this hits so close to home, Holly. I truly take my tissues personally. Last week Genny and I were tissue shopping and I managed to vent my seemingly shallow frustrations aloud, as I searched for a tissue box which wouldn't completely clash with the interior or my superbly (and anally) decorated home.
Genny called me out on it. "It's just tissue Mama, why does it HAVE to match our house?"
In the end I found one, round and trendy, with similarly color schemed and non-repulsive exteriors.
Why do these companies have to make it so hard??? And then they wonder why people prefer to just use toilet paper to blow their noses...
DUH!

Mr Lady said...

Dearest, you officially have to much free time. Or crack. Not sure which yet. ;)

laughingatchaos said...

Soo...are the allergies acting up or are you stocking up for back to school? ;)

Brittany said...

I agree...I mean, I feel outdated whenever I blow my nose with tissue out of a box that does not have a skull and crossbones on it and the words "Girls Rule" across the top.

Momo Fali said...

Speaking of crying! You are hilarious!

Jennifer H said...

I'm mourning the fact that all my beautiful tissue box covers are in storage. *sniff*

Seriously, if tissue-makers looked at the Pottery Barn catalog or a copy of House Beautiful, then we'd get somewhere. It's ridiculous, these designs.

Madge said...

why can't they make a nice white box? wouldn't that be cool? nice and sleek and mod. perfect for my spotless swedish/modern decorated home (in my mind).

carmen said...

Holly, you are the only person I know that could write a whole post about the ugliness of Kleenex. Brilliant! I usually try to find the most neutral box and hide it.

Nap Warden said...

Can I just get a nice, solid, neutral color? Would that be too much to ask?

Tootsie Farklepants said...

This just in! Reports indicate that there is now a shortage of tissue boxes in all general merchandise stores. A source who wishes to remain anonymous tells us it was Holly who bought them all for a blog post. News at 11.

Channah said...

Too funny. I can't believe you bought all these boxes.

My aunt made me a pueblo house tissue-box holder, which, as far as tissue-box holders go, is actually really cute. So I buy the square boxes at Costco, and hide the one in my living room in the holder.

Mylhibug said...

I have six kids and don't even have that much tissue in my house!

I think you need to put your creative Croc skills to work and call Kleenex immediately!

Oh, and you might need a break, and SOON!

Angie @ KEEP BELIEVING said...

Oh Holly, You seriously need to go to Hobby Lobby or some other home store and get a tissue box cover.

And I think I have seen that rose before - on my dearly departed grandma's sofa when I was a young lassie.

KEEP BELIEVING

Loralee Choate said...

Tissue boxes have the same design conundrum that clothing for pregnant and heavy women seem to have.

You know what I'm talking about...designers think that when a woman is heavy or preganat that their fashion sense flies out the window and suddenly hideous prints, sequined applique's and denim bows are considered 'high style'.

Same must go for sneezing, congensted people.

Maybe the designers thought people would be too high on Nyquil to give a damn.

Anglophile Football Fanatic said...

This is why old ladies knit koozies for them and stores sell covers. There's too much crayola in those suckers.

Valarie said...

Maybe you need to take up koozie making. Maybe add for fringe or tassels to them.

Ron Davison said...

I don't know which is more odd: that you would post about tissue box colors or that it would hold my attention the whole way through.

Kaye said...

All I can say is, "BRAVO!" Who else on this earth could blog so much about the color of tissue boxes and make it interesting and entertaining enough to keep me scrolling! Thanks for the laugh! I needed this today!

Rachel said...

Holly, You bought all of those? Ye Gads woman. Only you could make a fun, witty and interesting post about tissues.

If I were a kid getting tissues for school, I would be over the moon about those cool designs.

Those are interesting. Glad you had so much fun :-)

Angie said...

All I can say is I agree with you 100%. Who knew that a graphic arts degree could be so fully utilized in the disposable tissue industry?

On a limb wiht Claudia said...

ahahahahahahahahahahaha. You crack me up! We Costco the tissue but only get the small boxes in "manly" colors. ;)

Texan Mama said...

Don't ya understad that the reason they don't give a hoot about the box design is that they know that every good June Cleaver has a fancy-schmancy tissue box cover that was put together with yarn and that plastic grid stuff. It was undoubtedly sewn with loving hands by either herself, or the lovely elderly lady who she visits at the nursing home and with whom she plays Canasta. See, so as long as you have a good selection of tissue box covers in various sizes and shapes, yer all set!

tommie said...

that is just totally hilarious. If you took those at the store were people looking at you like you had lost it? What store has those nice floors?? Or did you stock up for allergy season?

Beck said...

You know what's weird? SOme poor graphic designer had to DESIGN those awful boxes, likely while crabbing on the phone to his wife about it like a certain husband of mine.

Tranny Head said...

I never buy tissue always using TP instead because I'm cheap. But I might consider buying Kleenex IF there were a good design. I'd like to see a tissue box with a big fat dude in a thong on it. Now THAT would be tissue worth investing in!

Nanny Goats In Panties said...

First of all, shame on these people thinking you would buy all different kinds of Kleenex just so you could blog about it. A real genius waits until she gets home from the store with yet another stash of tissue thinking she was out, when for the last 18 tissue errands, keeps forgetting about the previous tissue hoarding trip, and ends up with a melting pot of snot rags, before brilliance for the next blog entry inspires.

Well done, you.

:)

- Margaret

Ok, Where Was I? said...

I'm super impressed with the dedication this took to be so thorough. We're not big tissue consumers in this house, so I still have fall themed boxes in my cabinet.

Drama Mama said...

Glad I found your blog -very cute!

Kendrawolf said...

The stupid thing is that the only time I even buy facial tissue is when I have a cold and then I just don't care if it matches my decore.

Pinky said...

I like old school. I am old school. Even my boogers are old school.

Burgh Baby's Mom said...

I shed real tears when the store doesn't have the red box with white modern-looking flowers that ALMOST matches my living room. I declare that box close enough and if I can't get it, I'm sadcakes. I need style and panache when I'm wiping up snot, you know.

Sleeping with Ward Cleaver said...

Holly's tissue budget goes through the roof!
I am SO with you on this tissue packaging. I didn't see the ones I choose, so perhaps you are deprived in Texas, but I get the holographic monkey tissues. I probably pay twice as much for them, too (after I while my eyes glaze over in grocery stores and I stop looking at prices).
Remind me to show you the piece I wrote about paper towel platitudes...

Memarie Lane said...

ITA, I was actually thinking about writing on this very subject. The only tissue boxes I wouldn't be ashamed to display are the generic ones, which come in nice plain sensible colors. Imagine suffering from allergies, and your tissue box is covered in... FLOWERS??? How insensitive!

Elizabeth said...

I was thinking that we need a series of "Runny nose Holly" illustrated tissue boxes...you should contact the Kleenex people.
I would love to see your Grunge themed master bathroom.
Blessings, E

Marcy - The Glamorous Life! said...

Its as if you go shopping WITH me. These are all the things I say- um, IN mY HEAD at the store. Take a look at the paper towel designs...equally missing the art department there too. Perhaps it is all designed by the same teal and pink loving artist? Who knows....

Bren said...

Never again will I look at Kleenex boxes in the same way.

Elaine A. said...

So now you have a tissue supply for life, right? Unless of course someone in the Nirvana household gets a REALLY bad cold.

Have you seen those cute oval shaped tissue boxes that Kleenex is making now? I bought 3 of them and just refill them with the tissues from the ugly boxes. I'm cool like that.

merlotmom said...

Okay, so I'm lame. I just awarded you with an trophy only to come on your site and realize that I'd forgotten you already had it! Oh well, Consider yourself doubly honored.

Melizzard said...

My husband totally fight over this all the time. I refuse to keep tissue boxes out because they are so ugly. They are hidden in drawers, nightstands, end tables etc..all over the house.

We do have the yellow and purple sunflower ones in the girls rooms though. They work there.

Jason said...

Wow. You actually did an entire, long post about tissue boxes!! And so descriptive, holy cow!

VDog said...

i lurve purty tissue boxes. yes ah dew.

mommeeof9 said...

You leave the tissues out where people can see the boxes? If I did that, my younger kids would pull them all out of the box. It's facinating to them how many tissues are in a box, how much paper is on the toilet paper roll, etc. I put the tissue boxes on a high shelf in the linen closet. I get a handfull of tissues down for the child who needs them.

Colleen said...

Um, I just want to ask why you have 37,000 boxes of tissue in your house. Bad allergies?

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