Yes, it is Monday which can only mean one thing...Potluck day! Yeah! Today I am throwing a potluck filled with shock and awe because of this:
Alltop, all the cool kids (and me)
I have no shame and take issue with the great Groucho Marx who once proclaimed, "I would not join any club that would have someone like me for a member." I think I made that point clear in the email I sent Alltop begging to be included:

I love what you are doing and would love to be considered in the mommyblog category. I write June Cleaver Nirvana.

This is why you need me:
I am smart, cute and funny.
And modest (well, in real life I dress modestly…).
I draw a mean stick-figure.


PS—Think of all the publicity Alltop will receive when I snap someday and end up on the 6 o’clock news. You can have the story FIRST and then proudly proclaim that you “knew me when…”

I think I swayed them with that PS.

The dear people at Alltop responded by sending me a lovely email that ended with this PS:

We'd much rather you mention Alltop during your acceptance speech at the next Bloggers Choice Awards! :)

To which I now reply: Me too, but really, which is more likely?
Ya, I would stay close to your TV if I were you.

Today's potluck food is homemade strawberry jam. We will have to visit TX Poppet for more since I ate the entire jar she canned and gave to me (in one sitting--is that wrong?). Yummmm. I will also have to go to the bakery and get some more fresh bread because I ate all of that too.

Ryan(7)'s closest friend was over this afternoon to play. She came running into the kitchen with the following question, "Holly, is Ryan married?"

And now for a brand spanking new Nirvana feature:

And as if potatoes weren't exciting enough, I am rolling out yet another new feature:

Crapicity: a state of crappiness in which Holly's perkiness factor decreases dramatically.
Today's crapicity inspired the artwork above. Is it my lack of sleep or has the degree of difficulty on word verification jumped significantly in the last few days? Over the weekend I was word verificationized multiple times on multiple blogs. On several occasions I have just stared at the screen thinking there is no way I am going to get this right.

Wow. This week was a bit weird on the Google front. Someone entered the Nirvana after googling, "catchy waffle slogans". The weird thing is that I love waffles and would have totally posted catchy waffle slogans if I knew there was such a Google need for such things. Note to self: write and post some catchy waffle slogans to boost Nirvana ranking ASAP. Another dear reader arrived after googling, "nirvana sweat pants". Just weird. But my favorite this week has to be "we aint no June Cleavers". Yes, you are right. We aint and June would have phrased that much differently.

I come from the "you don't want me to say three" style of parenting. At 3 bad things tend to happen. Reid(4) was overhearing my count...ONE...TWO...for his older brother's benefit when he muttered the following under his breath, "And now for our bonus number...three".

Is there a number at which GoogleReader stops counting?

If anyone finds my A game, please let me know where I lost it. I'll give you to the count of three...


cce said...

My head pops off at "five"...we've all got a threshold. And I would have eaten that strawberry jam with a spoon as well which is why I'm off to the dentist to have one of four cavities filled. The others will have to wait considering each is costing me $250 a pop. Why oh why don't we have a dentist in the family. Sorry I'm hijacking your potluck day.

Courtney said...

As always this was entertaining. I love Reid's bonus number comment. Is he following in his mom's footsteps?

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

The way you know you're funny is when you hear your kids saying totally funny things like that--they had to get it from someone!

Yes the word verificiation thingy has gotten out of control. I just put jjjjjjjjj on the first one, then it gives you an eaisier one!

Suzie said...

I come from the three school as well. I think I got to 5 though this weekend.

Beck said...

Word verification has been AWFUL recently. AWFUL.

Beck said...

Word verification has been AWFUL recently. AWFUL.

Greta said...

Congrats on the alltop love. It's like seating at the cool table in the lunchroom. (which is funnier when pronounced w/ the Rob Schnieder "copy guy" accent I was going for) ;)

The Wrath of Dawn said...

A four-year old cynic! The teen years are going to be SO blogworthy at Nirvana.

InTheFastLane said...

I agree on the word verification. I almost never get it right the first try and some of them...I have no idea what letters those are. Thanks for not making me think to post on here :)

Lisa said...

Great post as always!! I am busy right now with the end of school year push but had to stop by and say 'hi'!

On a limb with Claudia said...

When do you get to return to St. Thomas - I mean really, Stedman must have a conference or two to attend.

Oh sorry, yes, blog award. Yes, alltop should love you as much as we do. Yes, Crapicity. I will stay on track... I will stay on track....

Did you get yourself some butterfly bandages yet? ;)

Sleeping with Ward Cleaver said...

Ooooh, strawberry jam! Yummm...I need to find a jam-making friend. Everyone 'round here knows three's my limit, cuz my parrot counts time outs in MY voice to my kids when their voices start to raise above civilized conversation level.
Congrats on your award! I'm sure they got a good laugh at your emails!

EatPlayLove said...

Well you see, i've been having a tough go at word verification myself, and this weekend I pressed the red wheelchair.. Not even sure what happened but some sort of foreign language was spewing from my speakers.

And, I am a 1-2-3 mom, I am happy to report, we rarely get to 3.

Jennifer said...

for some reason it took me 12 days to get this comment box to pop up. lol okay not really funny but your post sure was!! :) you always crack me up. i do the count to three thing.. but my kids count with me... and then when I get to three at my house... my 4 yr old says/shouts BLAST OFF!! great! huh?? oh well... at least they sort of know that we aren't too happy w/ something they did or are doing...
i'll be looking for your A game for you, while i try to dig mine out from deep dark hole of laundry, and things I should get done...
have a great day!!
Thanks for making me smile!!
xoxox's Jenn

Momo Fali said...

I, for one, would've loved to hear June Cleaver use "ain't" in a sentence. Seems that lady needed to shake things up a bit.

Momo Fali said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jennifer H said...

Everyone should make a pact to turn off word verification. Suddenly, it's like 47 letters and they're all squished together! Next, we'll have to unscramble the letters and make a word out of them. In 5 languages.

Bonus number...ha!

I think that's a grape stem in your fruit bowl. If there are any grapes still attached, I wouldn't eat them if I were you.

Sandy C. said...

ROFL at your letter :) Word verification drives me nuts! I think I'm dyslexic, and it'll take me a solid 5 minutes to post a comment :(

Rebecca said...

Crapicity -- I love it! :)

Angie said...

Word Verification BITES!!! I yelled frick! or some equally PG rated obscenity the other day from the computer and had to tell Brian upon question that I HATE WORD VERIFICATION. Then I had to EXPLAIN word verification. I would rather TYPE word verification than explain to my husband who already thinks I spend too much time on the computer.


Sadie said...

I myself was going to comment on the increased difficulty of the google verification!! I've been tripped up a few times!! It's a bit infuriating, really. So blogger finds a new way to annoy the heck out of us...are we surprised?

You's got potatoes in your fruit basket? I gots tomatoes *G*

Cheri said...

Hello! I'm visiting from Philosopher Mom.

Crapicity. I like it!

Anonymous said...

1) Yay you for Alltop! You're cool. ;)
2)I don't know what's in your fruit bowl...the damn light is burned out and I can't see into it. LOL!
3)You must make a button from the crapicity picture. Because life is like that and it's a perfect description.
4)Catchy waffle slogans: if you ever watched Mystery Science Theater 3K, you know they had a waffle song at one point. What I had for breakfast is long gone from my memory, but I still remember the lyrics to that stupid song.
5)My "A" game has gone missing, it's been posted on the back of milk cartons, I don't anticipate seeing it again. ;)

the planet of janet said...

crapicity is totally the word of the day.

and just for you, i'm gonna take off word verification.

it IS getting out of hand.

JCK said...

Honey, it's going to be a long, long time before you lose your A game! You're batting a 1,000 here!

Cool Alltop letter & response!

And YES, thank you for clarifying the word verification thing. It has been crazy making.

SaraB said...

I think the word verification has gotten so hard that the computer can't tell that you actually got it right! Cuz, I swear, I'm not that dumb.

I'm visiting from Philosopher-Mom, too. You really are a different kind of June Cleaver if you wear those "sexy styles at great prices" from Or is it June Cleavage? ;)

I love the art work!

Tootsie Farklepants said...

Congrats on Alltop!!! You rock!

And I don't count to any number. I prefer a sneak attack. It keeps them on their toes.

Anonymous said...

Strawberry jam and fresh it all in one sitting. You deserve it.
Counting to three? I tell them if I get to 2 they're in trouble. They run.
Word verification SUCKS lately. I feel like a doofus every time.
Right there with ya.

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