Part I is here.

We left Bitter Holly in the hallway adjoining the important meeting room where she was sitting with other adults. She is talking on an emergency phone call from the electrician that installed her right under-cabinet light that is currently causing her fruit bowl to sit in partial darkness. He showed up at her house about 133 hours outside of the given 12 hour service window.

Bitter Holly soon figures out that the electrician that installed her right under-cabinet light that is currently causing her fruit bowl to sit in partial darkness was not paying attention when she told him what was wrong, the product number and the serial number on the phone. This makes Bitter Holly a bit more bitter.

Bitter Holly's reading audience will be relieved that she did previously attempt to change the light bulb and had ruled that out as a cause of the fruit bowl situation.

The electrician that installed the right under-cabinet light that is currently causing Holly's fruit bowl to sit in partial darkness doesn't have the right part to fix the problem. He is going to go to his super secret electrician location to find the part and return later that day when Bitter Holly is home.

Later that day in Holly's sunny suburban neighborhood in a house that could (but doesn't) have a white picket fence...

Yeah! The electrician returns.

Imagine Bitter Holly's shock when the electrician that installed the right under-cabinet light that is currently causing her fruit bowl to sit in partial darkness says that the light is not working. Wow. Add super observant to his job title*.

*For the purposes of this story, I am not adding super observant to his job title because I think his current title is long enough. Feel free to take note of this change and at home use whichever title you prefer.*

Uh-oh. The electrician that installed the right under-cabinet light that is currently causing her fruit bowl to sit in partial darkness still doesn't have the proper part even after a trip to his super secret electrician location.

He offers to change out a few bulbs that are burned out. He also changes the bulbs in the right under-cabinet light that is currently causing Holly's fruit bowl to sit in partial darkness. Bitter Holly doesn't ask questions. Bitter Holly bitterly looks on. Bitter, bitter Holly.

The electrician that installed the right under-cabinet light that is currently causing Holly's fruit bowl to sit in partial darkness states that he will return with the proper part after ordering it from the super secret electrician location. He says he will call Bitter Holly when it is received.

Bitter Holly knows she will never see him again. Bitter Holly is facing the new fruit bowl reality.

Bitter Holly would have waved when he left, but she was using all her energy being really, super duper, extra-strength, extraordinarily bitter:


A few weeks later...
Bitter Holly stomped out to get the mail (that is what bitter people do). Bitter Holly notices an envelope from the electrician that installed the right under-cabinet light currently causing her fruit bowl to sit in partial darkness:

Huh? Bitter Holly looks a little closer:

Bitter Holly looks and sees that $279.50 was billed for changing 4 light bulbs. Bitter Holly also notices that she was charged for the labor of 2 men. Bitter Holly wonders if one of the electricians was invisible. Bitter Holly wonders if the invisible electrician might have been able to fix her right under-cabinet light if she was able to locate him. She assumes he must be at the super secret electrician location.

Bitter Holly has this reaction:

Bitter Holly Rolls On the Floor with Laughter (ROFL). Bitter Holly rolls. Bitter Holly laughs. Bitter Holly is down-right hysterical. Bitter Holly continues to giggle for days. Holly, the artist, formerly known as Bitter Holly* laughs so long that the bitter label no longer is applicable.

*Yes, Holly plans on using this joke every time. Quite honestly, she can't help herself.*

Holly then decides to spread the cheer by calling the electrician that installed the right under-cabinet light that is causing her fruit bowl to sit in partial darkness.

The electrician that installed the right under-cabinet light currently causing Holly's fruit bowl to sit in partial darkness did not find the whole situation as funny as Holly did. He did agree not to charge Holly $279.50 for changing 4 light bulbs. He did agree that Holly would not be charged anything until the problem was actually fixed. Holly got the impression that a big black mark would be going through her name and posted by the phone at the super secret electrician location. That is OK with Holly. She isn't bitter about it or anything.

Legend has it that if you visit Holly's house today you will see this:

Holly let the left under-cabinet light bulbs burn out. Now the darkness is symmetrical which makes Holly much happier. Holly's fruit bowl is empty which is OK because you can't properly appreciate all that fruit when it is so dark.

36 comments:

Happy Campers said...

WOW what a rip off! It's so frustrating what companies try to get away with sometimes, huh? Is it still not working???

Courtney said...

Wow they really thought you would pay that? Amazing.

Elizabeth said...

I LOVE Holly's animated life.
I do love the "artist formerly known as Bitter Holly"...very well done. Good for you, letting them know that you would not pay that price for 4 light bulbs and an invisible electrician. "the Artist formerly known as Bitter Holly" shoul wear a "Super Holly" cape as a crusader for all "service window"-house bound people everywhere.
Bless You "Super Holly"

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

I hope Bitter Holly has learned Jenn's trick of paying every service charge with American Express, 'cause they will so back you up when the idiot service people do not follow through with their services and goods.

MoscowMom said...

Wow. The nerve!!! Glad you didn't pay. But I wish you could get your light fixed... Yet again, a wonderful illustrated post!

InTheFastLane said...

OMG!!!! I can't believe that he would even try to pull that. I would be a bitter angry shrew once I got that electrician on the phone. I am sure that you wanted to pay someone almost $300 for a job that you could do yourself and not even get the right light fixed in the first place.

Burgh Baby's Mom said...

Bitter Holly wears a lot of skirts. I think she's kind of cute, though Bitter.

Suzie said...

You are too funny! Oh No He didnt! I cant believe he charged you that. Love the new fancy phone

Mylhibug said...

I don't know if you should give the guy credit for having the 'stones' to try this, or just go and poke his eyes out.

Maybe you could get some glow-in-the-dark fruit for the area with no under-cabinet lights. I'm sure it would look, uh, "cosmic."

Valarie said...

I can not believe they seriously sent you a bill for that. After they did such a crappy job of nothing!! They had some nerve.

On a limb with Claudia said...

That just sucks. I'm very sorry.

Christine @ Serenity How? said...

Oh bummer. Still not fixed. You're a better woman than I am. I'd probably still be bitter.

Yet, I'm thrilled to see I'm not the only one with symmetry issues. Those asymmetrical skirts? They're just so wrong.

Christine said...

I would not have laughed.

I would have become more bitter.

Do you really wear skirts alot?

Sadie said...

$279.50?!?!?!

They really are all idiots aren't they? And...well, I guess they do it because there are suckers born every minute...guess he failed to realize that you weren't one of them.

Sleeping with Ward Cleaver said...

I can't decide which I love more: the happy electrician truck, en route to Bitter Holly's house, or the truck as he departs, never to be seen again, or the fact that Bitter Holly, ROFL, evidently has on a very sheer pair of pants b/c you can see right through to her stick figure legs!
I've been waiting all week to find out what happened, and I'm so glad that you found resolution in symmetry. I think someone else had the solution earlier this week--whoever it was who said she's sleeping with her electrician? Presuming that might also be her husband...

laughingatchaos said...

Bitter Holly rolling on the floor laughing is my favorite one. ;)
Tell idiot electrician you'd like an all new light...if he could figure that out. ;)

Lisa said...

You need to share the name with us local gals so we don't become bitter too ;)
At least things are more symmetrical in your world!

EatPlayLove said...

I have a solution for Bitter Holly and her sad dark fruit bowl, one of those infomercial round lights that you just stick on and press to light up!

That's a joke. Maybe the electrician could just install a new light fixture, obviously yours is defective, I mean who really gets a part for an under the cabinet light?

I see a Free Of Charge replacement in your future!

anglophilefootballfanatic said...

Having sometimes been a bitter Holly, I can understand the frustrations of Bitter Holly.

Kristen said...

I have to admit that I love the marker illustrations of your life. They are just too funny!!

Whenever do you find time to do them?

Can't wait for more explanations of your life through marker drawings! :-)

Rachael said...

That is just CRAZY! I would be very, very bitter.

Angie said...

I loathe dealing with the entire service industry. The bill would have put my into some sort of satanic tyrade, i think. I would have been dangerous.

KEEP BELIEVING

JCK said...

That Bitter Holly brings bitterness to new heights. And patience! That Bitter Holly has patience. And art skills! That Bitter Holly has art skills!

Jacque said...

LOL! Put down the markers, and step away! ;) Don't you hate bills like that?

Manic Mommy said...

Manic Mommy would have been Conniption Mommy when the bill arrived.

And what's with the electrician's ears? Not the invisible electrician you were charged for, the other one.

mommeeof9 said...

My electricin is a friends husband. He won't let me pay for anything but parts...

I can and do replace receptacles and wire circuits, but do not connect the circuits in the breaker box. That high school electricity class from 25 yeras ago sure paid off.

Greta said...

Yikes. I hope he doesn't read your blog ;)

Jennifer H said...

Interesting. That's exactly how my husband wants me to pay him to change a lightbulb. Hmm...

That electrician (and his invisible co-worker) are due for a bitter, bitter smackdown.

A Mom Two Boys said...

Wouldn't it be AWESOME if we all made money as easily as that?

Here's your lunch...that'll be 20 minutes at $5.00 a minute, so you owe me $100.00 PLUS the cost of food (with a 30% mark up)...so your new total is $115.00. Enjoy!

I think you should just stop eating fruit. It's getting expensive as well and then you can spend all the money you'll save on new skirts and markers and stuff! Much more fun than fruit and electricians! Unless you got a new electrician and he looks like George Clooney or something.

mommeeof9 said...

The easiest solution is to turn off the breakers for the kitchen, remove the light fixture and take it to the electrical supply place or lowes, home depot, whatever. Ask them for a replacement fixture that is similar. Take it home and hook it up, remembering that the black wire goes to the dark colored screw, the white to the silver screw and the ground wire to the green screw. Turn power back on.

Sleeping with Ward Cleaver said...

Damn, mommeeof9--that is far too impressive that you know how to do that! You make the rest of us womenfolk look clueless ;-)

Purple Teacup said...

I am in awe of you. And my blog sucks.

exskindiver said...

it is that keen sense of humor that is keeping your artistry alive and well.

giggle.

Angela said...

You know, maybe I could stop turning to frosting and chocolate every time I am bitter. Are those markers the smelly kind? Do they soothe you? Maybe I'll try that.

Woman with a Hatchet said...

Wow. That was great! Well, in an animated sense, not in the "they want to charge you $279 and STILL not fix the problem!" sort of way!

You, clearly, rock.

MamabearMills said...

Wow that reminds me of my latest post you just commented on about the $432 bill for the temp and BP reading

Post a Comment