Hip, hip hooray...it is Monday! Monday can only mean one thing. If you look Monday up in the dictionary, you see the definition: POTLUCK.

Today's potluck is a celebration. Why? The Nirvana made Fussy's Linkapalooza for my Fight the Frump post on Friday. In honor of this momentous occasion today's potluck will be held on cloud 9. That would be the actual cloud 9, not the shady looking strip club off the freeway just outside of Abilene with the same name. Which brings me to broach this sensitive subject...
One of you arrived after googling, "Nude photos of Mrs. June Cleaver". Now, I am just going to turn my back and you may leave quickly and quietly and we will forget this all happened. I think we all know that those types of searches are just wrong. Thank you. Oh, don't you just love, love, love the new graphics for that segment? Thanks to the genius of Nap Warden all my crazy whims come true.

I have even swept the floor (just in case Fussy or any of her friends drop in) and it is Frito free:
For today's potluck I am contributing my world famous animal shaped Belgium waffles.
You may choose from a barn, a rooster, a cow or another different shaped cow. You must choose quickly or my shapist children will leave you with this:
Yes, this is the dreaded headless cow. For some reason headless animals are shunned. I can not properly correlate this since the first thing my children do is eat the head. I try to push the headless animals with the catchy slogan, "just think of it as bite 2".

Please excuse the interruption by the I.F.P.A. (Institute For Potluck Advancement):
My baby he don't talk sweet
He ain't got much to say
But he loves me, loves me, loves me
I know that he loves me anyway

And maybe he don't dress fine
But i don't really mind
Because every time he pulls me near
I just want to cheer

Lets hear it for the potluck
Lets give the potluck a hand
Lets hear it for my potluck
You know you potluck to understand

Whoa, maybe he's no romeo
But he's my lovin potluck show
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa
Let's hear it for the potluck

Great, the IFPA may have observed me dancing to Jennifer's posted music video causing nostalgia for 80s music. I don't think changing the words of an 80s song to include "potluck" is helping the universal potluck objective. It is just the tip of the iceberg with these IFPA guys. I am not happy with their work to date. In fact, I came across this:
This is the Nirvana's master plan. Please note if the IFPA could get their act together I would be 2/3 in my quest for world wide blog domination. They are so fired unless they come up with something better.

I need to apologize to a fellow blogger, name sharer and play date friend, Holly for throwing her under the bus at Tootsie's Weekly Advice column. I may have come across a little harsh in my assessment of the jon-jon. I may have wanted to look cool in class. I may have wanted to re-direct the attention somewhere else. After some soul-searching, I can admit to 1 (maybe 2) of my boys wearing jon-jons after the age of 18 months. Admitting that I have a problem is step one. Excuse me while I finish my Tootsie recommended home renovation...

*while Holly is out of the room, the IFPA guys walk in, see an opportunity and post this:*
The Ginsu 12 Piece POTLUCK Set Features:
Ginsu POTLUCKS are specialized for their dexterity in chopping, slicing and dicing a wide array of foods.
Ginsu POTLUCKS are forged from Japanese steel that is known for its stain and rust resistance, strength, and its ability to hold an incredibly sharp edge.
Ginsu POTLUCK handles are made of heat and water resistant resin.
This fabulous POTLUCK set includes an incredibly strong and visually stunning bamboo POTLUCK block.

*Holly returns. Holly reads. Holly rants. Holly can't believe it. Holly is irate. Holly won't stand for this nonsense on her blog. Holly exchanges blows with the IFPA. Holly is victorious (Holly has spent many an afternoon observing karate classes). Holly kicks some IFPA butt. Holly is all that and a bag of chips. Holly wonders how long people will continue to read this crap written in the third person.*

I now want to apologize to Fussy and any of her fabulous friends that came to visit today. Really, this is a celebration. It should not have come to blows. I want you to know that I realize how this reflects on me. I will do better. I will work harder. My next post will be better. By Friday's fight the frump, I should have my "A" game back...

25 comments:

Rachel said...

I love that you re-wrote that song, you are so funny.
This was so clever and I was giggling the whole way through.
Congrats on making it into Fussy's Linkapalooza!!

Meg said...

You sooooooooo rock! Happy Monday sweetie and congrats!

Courtney said...

Seriously? Nude photos of June Cleaver? Are you serious?

Happy Monday.

spinning in our own direction said...

I think I know someone who can help you achieve goal #3 Tee hee.. you are soo funny. I bet holly can kick some butt I mean you are practically taking karate classes.

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

I was able to resist the urge to google jon-jon when I was over at Tootsie's, but had to do it as I was reading this.

Why people, when shorts are so readily available?

chirky said...

I've added that waffle maker to my Amazon wishlist. Nevermind that I already have a waffle maker. Or that I rarely make waffles.

beachmom said...

the waffle maker is awesome!!! we only do mickey & minnie waffles in these parts. AND, can I just say, I love, love, love your floors!! (and I am not just saying that because of the really great comment you left for me last week! I swear!!)

slow panic said...

i need the waffle iron! where did you get that?

JCK said...

You are the BESTEST mommy with those awesome waffles. Headless or no.

Your song writing...very catchy.

Your energy and pure VERVE alone should get you on Oprah, honey. I need to lie down and breathe after reading that roller coaster ride of a post. ;)

Congrats on your Fussy honor! And your wood floors look very cool - like barn wood.

anglophilefootballfanatic said...

Let's hear it for the Hollys. I laughed out loud at your song. And, I must admit, I was so impressed with you for making the Fussy big time! You totally didn't throw me to the wolves. That was my former life partner Burgh, who is going to pay for her transgression when UPS delivers the huge care package I just mailed her...filled with nothing but her FAVORITE tv character!!

jennie said...

that was hilarious. i remember doing a dance routine to that song when i was a small child.

Momo Fali said...

Oh dear. I think you're losing it over there! The third person narrative made me snort!

dawn224 said...

Oh I have a bunch of handed down jon jons that have gone straight to the discard pile.

And I'm jealous of your purse.

Loralee Choate said...

It's always groovy when a blogger you WUV gives you some linky love!

Manic Mom said...

Have you heard of the book SLEEPING WITH WARD CLEAVER by Jenny Gardiner? She is a friend of mine, and seeing as your blog is titled what it is, you may fall in absolute love with her book! I'm going to email her right now cuz I know she will get a major kick out of your hilarious blog!!!!

Nap Warden said...

I am reading along, and thinking how great your graphics are;) Then, all I can think is...I want a waffle, please pass a waffle!

Sandy C. said...

ROFL! At the song! My daughter would flip over those waffles! I'm not a kid, and I want to make them run across my kitchen table just looking at them ;)

jennifer h said...

Those waffles rock, but so does your song. You had me laughing.

Congrats on making the Fussy Linkapalooza! Oprah can't be far behind.

Thanks for the link, too. I've been singing the Survivor song for days now.

Kellan said...

I love the new version (your version) of that song - too funny!!

Hope you had a great Monday, Holly - see you later - thanks for coming by the lake - Kellan

cce said...

Happy Tuesday, what does it mean that I'm checking on Monday's PotLuck a day late...that I'm impossibly rude? Sorry. But you made me laugh and crave waffles and a new knife set.

Jenny, the Bloggess said...

I came here looking for nude photos of June Cleaver and all I found was dreaded headless cows.

jenny gardiner said...

Greetings to June Cleaver! We, my dear, have something in common, but I"ll get to that. First I must tell you I have been bitten with waffle envy. Farm animal waffles? How do you do that? We do Mickey Mouse and heart waffles here but those are so yesterday. My children would no doubt hoist me onto a pedestal if I were to serve them cows with syrup, headless or otherwise.
My friend Manic Mommy sent me your way--since I wrote the book SLEEPING WITH WARD CLEAVER she thought we just had to get in touch. I think your homies would get a huge kick out of it. If you're interested come on over to my website (www.jennygardiner.net or over to our blog www.thedebutanteball.com) and email me and maybe we can get a contest going!
Love your blog (and got a good laugh linking to your friends' blogs too!
Jenny Gardiner

Lisa said...

Great song! You are quite the web celebrity--congrats!!!!!!!!!!!! Shall I contact Oprah for you yet?!

Domestic Accident said...

How very Secret of you to write down your goals. Give Oprah a hug for me.

A Mom Two Boys said...

I'm not even sure what to say...

I wish we could meet in person.

Maybe someday.

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