June Cleaver Nirvana

Hip Hip Hooray, it's Monday! Today's potluck is super, duper commercialized fun. Blog-Stedman and the two older boys were unsupervised at Target yesterday and came home with this:
Yes, freegans we are not. The official "Pancake Puff Pan Recipe" booklet proudly proclaims, "You will be a hit at your party, when you serve up these delicious pancake puffs, and your guests will love you for it. Now go and have some fun!!" So, while the pancake puff may have a very convincing commercial, they seem to be lacking a writer. (Although I, of all people, can appreciate the need for the double exclamation point.) So....pancake puffs for everyone!!

When you spend $19.99 + tax for pancake puffs, not only to you get the amazing pancake puff pan, you get a pan hand protector (red), a magic potion injector, a shaker of all things that will fit through little holes and...(this is my favorite) the original pancake puff genuine wood flipping sticks. Wow. What a value. All that and the fun that follows...
We turned these ordinary ingredients into batter:Poured the batter into this transformation vehicle:Then this magically appears:The following are actual testimonials from the pancake puff experience:
Ryan(6): "Tastes like pancakes, only better."
Reid(4): "They taste so yummy, I cannot help it."
Rhett(2): "More."
It appears the boys drank the pancake puff kool-aid. What about the adults?
Blog-Stedman: "uh....well."
Me: "shhhh...I'm writing this all down in my blog."

So, count me in for Pancake Puff Tuesdays hosted by Meg. I bet Angie would participate too.

I wish you had a scratch and sniff screen on your computer. Rhett got into the Fresh Cannabis Santal perfume sample I was recently given. It had a tiny spray button on the end that he used to shower himself and my bathroom with the very strong scent. He reeks. No scratching needed. He smells like a little gigolo. The stench in the bathroom is even worse and simply headache inducing. I am not a big fragrance girl...you wouldn't be either if you lived through this.

Dear Smoke Detector Alarm Inventor (aka the devil):
Hi. I think your product has a slight flaw. A flaw that can induce insanity. The whole "2 quick chirps" at random intervals, never less then 90 seconds apart, only in the middle of the night system doesn't seem to be working for me. I have several smoke detectors in the house and cannot seem to pinpoint the one with the spent battery. I don't tolerate random. I don't seem to be as patient as you expect me to be. I don't have time to camp under one detector at a time to eliminate it as a possibility of the friendly chirping sounds that bore through my brain like two quick friendly ice pick blows. I know you send out public service announcements like "change all your batteries on January 1" so this hell doesn't happen. Thanks. I was a little busy on that day writing my resolutions and posting them in my blog to complete that task. Here is the deal. I have replaced 2 batteries today and I only have one more 9 volt battery and 3 more smoke detectors. Are you in some grand scheme with local mental health facilities? I was going to go to bed early. This is not the first time you have been cursed in this household. I remember a night. No, an early morning...2 am to be exact when the chirping was pinpointed to the staircase. The 20 foot ceiling staircase. I have a 10 foot ladder. Blog-Stedman and I built a temporary platform, placed the 10 foot ladder on it's top and I climbed to my death to replace the battery while he held onto my legs to secure our engineering marvel. It was like one of those team building exercises that office workers endure. So, please modify your design and send me new and improved models here at the Nirvana. If you need any advice, give me a call. Thanks!
Holly

This occurred yesterday:


And now for a new potluck feature (will the magic never end?)...It's called, "Which one of my dear readers arrived by googling this?" Hmmmm...that may need a fancy button too. Note to self: Email Nap Warden to request such a thing. Please confess if you were brought here by googling:
1. Who stole my toothbrush?
OK, I get that I am really good at finding things, but do I know you? Have I been to your house? So sorry, I didn't help you there. Did you check in the second left drawer in your bathroom?
2. Goat's feet pictures
I will assume that you were doing scientific research. So sorry I couldn't help you on your quest for cancer eradication or the reversal of global warming.
Good stuff there...Google results PLUS my apologies.

Dear children,
Hi. I know the Texas winds were blowing last night and thunder and lightening ensued, but the 4 am wake up call and subsequent climb into my bed doesn't seem to work for me. The 5 am bounce house party re-enactment was not my favorite moment today. I am much nicer when I get my sleep. I am much nicer when I get my yoga. I figure that after you live through the day with me today you will mend your ways. You are smart boys and won't want to make that mistake again.
Love ya!
Mommy

Alright, the potluck is officially over...Hi mom! I felt my other readers dropping like flies earlier on in festivities...

I have a confession to make. I took pictures after Jeff's magical make-up tour (if you visit the story of my little button, please leave a comment). But they were self inflicted portraits. It was either that or have them taken by a 2 y/o. I took approximately 43 pictures of my face while standing at a mirror. Not one of them did Jeff justice. Not one of them did me justice. Not one of them could be cropped to NOT include my camera. I decided to make that post without pictures because I figured if I said I looked fabulous your brain would make me fabulous...maybe even more fabulous then I actually looked which is, well, fabulous.

Let's assess my work:Alright, not bad for the first shot. I seem to be looking in the same direction as the camera through the mirror...I will re-adjust:
Adjustment made. But now my head is all twisted and what is with the smile? I'll just take another to fix that:
Ya, switching sides with the camera did not help. Hmmmm...let me try this:
Much worse! What expression am I making and could I not figure out the camera was blocking my entire face. You can see the brows, but really.
OK, that just looks like a give up.
Better! The camera is a little close to the head to be cropped out. I will try that again with the camera farther away...
OMG. Did I move? Why am I now facing OUT of the picture? Let me try something radically different...
Experiment failed. Although it does straighten out any PRE-wrinkle tendencies. Here is my favorite picture, but hardly a ringing endorsement of Jeff and little button:
Maybe photography lessons are in order for my 2 y/o...

My husband has now labeled me "haikurific". Plese note new blidget to the right which is available at widgetbox today!

An updated "haikuPROlific" was added by Greg as well. See, I keep telling him he needs a blog! He thinks I am doing enough for both of us and encourages me to blog by proxy for him.