3:21 AM

It is jeanetic

Posted by Holly Homer |

Holly got ready.

Ready for something she hasn't done in years.



Holly realized that she had only one pair of jeans that fit well. She had no choice but to go shopping for another pair.

Why has Holly not been jean shopping for years?



Maybe because last time she went shopping for jeans she entered the store as a confident woman and exited the store as a huddled mass yearning to be free of her obvious body disfigurements.



For you see, in non-jean-shopping-life Holly is OK with her body. She is not in love with her shape, but has accepted it and moves on...



Yet for some reason, in jean-shopping-life all that changes.

Holly's non-jean-shopping THIGHS are OK, but her jean-shopping THIGHS appear like over-stuffed, dimpled sausage.

Holly's non-jean-shopping WAIST is OK, but her jean-shopping WAIST creates plumber-effect.

In non-jean shopping-life Holly never met a tailor. In jean-shopping-life Holly has never met a pair of jeans that didn't require a skilled one.

Holly recruited a friend for moral support. Holly wasn't sure about the morality, but could really use the support.



Soon Holly was back in a dressing room with an ever-growing pile of ill-fitting jeans.

*Hold me*



Just about the time Holly was about to slip into her pre-existing Post-Traumatic Jean Shopping Syndrome, the sales clerk asked her to try on one more pair.



Holly tried on the jeans.

Holly was puzzled.

Something was different.

Very different.



The jeans fit.

*cue the angel choir*



Where did you find these jeans that fit so perfectly?



The men's department.

Yep.

In jean-shopping-life Holly is a boy.

64 comments:

Weaselmomma said...

I always love you hand drawn drawn pictorals, but you missed the square of "cross dressing Holly".

Sara said...

You know there has to be a book entitled, "Holly's Animated Life". You are working on it, aren't you?

Brittany said...

HAHA hilarious! I have to say, I worked at GAP for 4 years in college,and the Mens Jeans (boot cut baby) wall was always a godsend for crying fitting room women, always. There was a lot of hugging going on back in the fittingrooms.

Manic Mommy said...

Hahahahah!

I just had a flash of you sitting at the kitchen table with your markers and Blog Stedman rolling his eyes...

Also, I fear Manic Mommy's jean-shopping life is in maternity.

Colleen - Mommy Always Wins said...

I love your singing angels. I think I need that graphic for my blog for the times my children AREN'T beating each other about the head and shoulders.

That's it...back to men's jeans it is! They're usually less pricey, too. ;-) I'm just glad Holly got jeans!

LaShawn said...

Until I had kids I always wore men's jeans. When I was a teen they always fit me better than women's.

I wish that were still true!

Courtney said...

The singing angels were classic!

The Stiletto Mom said...

I have never heard of such a thing but I'm going to try it!!! Also, I really think you have a career as an illustrator in your future. :)

Marinka said...

Yay for pictures! And yay for men's jeans! Although that drawing of the hourglass looks mildly obscene.

Miche said...

That was a great way to start the day (the cartoon, not jean shopping) I really enjoy your blog, this is the first hand drawn one I have seen, I guesss I need to visit your archives. Thanks for the laughs.

Teri said...

That is a riot. Boy jeans rock.

LuckyMe said...

LOL. Work on that book! I have the exact same problem. I'll try man jeans. Thanks!

spinning in our own direction said...

Ha ha.. Aren't sells people great!! My one and only pair of jeans ( that fit) are Lucky boyfriend jeans.They are girls jeans but cut like boys.. I'm not so stick figureish more of a marshmallow shape now..

Elaine A. said...

Dude! (I can call you that now!) I'm totally sorry it took so many tears to figure this one out. But... so glad you are happy now.

I have missed your illustrated posts... : )

TL said...

I wear Mr. S's old jeans when we do outside work, or with the cattle. They are super comfortable, and I love them. I say wear whatever is most comfortable and works for you!

The Glamorous Life said...

I haven't been here in a while and the place looks GREAT. Clean. Fresh. and great.

Man jeans. Really? I find that so hard to believe...you have such a great figure. Heck I would wear man jeans if I could have your figure too! Embrace it. Tell the world. Oh...yeah...I guess you just did.

me

mominmentalmotion said...

I love it! I suffer from the same issue but not because I am a skinny board. I am short and short-waisted. Oh well, I am glad you found something!

Trannyhead said...

See - I think that jeans are actually made for pear-shaped women. Because I'm the classic hourglass and have MAJOR struggles. Butt crack hanging out the back? Check. Knees of jeans that apparently hit me in mid-calf? Check. Jeans that have to be hiked up each time I stand up? Check!

Shannon said...

I wear mostly men jeans, straight leg boot cut they are worth the choir of angels

dddiva said...

Hahaha that was hysterical, thanks for sharing.

Beck said...

I am shaped like a board, too. A BIG FAT BOARD.
I borrow my husband's jeans lots, but that is because I'm a lazy slattern and not because they fit me well. So now I am very, very jealous.
I LOVE your drawn posts. They are the funniest thigns online.

Suzie said...

I love the pictures. I felt I was there with you in horrible jean land

Threeundertwo said...

What the heck? Is that allowed? My daughter is shaped like a board. I am so raiding the boy's section now!

TexasHolly saves the day again! Congratulations on your new jeans.

Misty said...

i have TONS of friends that prefer Men's Jeans to the awkward fit of womens...

Says A LOT about the design of girl's jeans, doesn't it?

Rachael said...

I hate jeans shopping too. But for all future such excursions, I will laugh and think of you.

the planet of janet said...

further proof that we were separated at birth.

Heather, Queen of Shake Shake said...

For me, jean shopping is the new swimsuit shopping. 3 dozen jeans with a side of misery.

Jeanette said...

Hehe this is brilliant!

Valarie Lea said...

Oh I just laughed out load!!

Jennifer H said...

Oh my god, I laughed.

Especially at the bare legs showing from under the dressing room door.

Rachel said...

I am a freaking rolling. Holly, you slay me honey!
Your drawings are the greatest thing ever.

And see, being an hour *coughandahalfcough* glass figure, I can't find jeans that fit that don't gap in the waist or go too low.

Jeans. the ultimate punk.

Tiffany Anne said...

Wonderful story! :) Great pictures!! He-he. I only have one brand of jeans that I ever wear that fit me. What's funny is I know some guys that wear girl pants. I think they're weird...but then again, they're musicians so I suppose then can get away with 'em.

Nerdy Jess said...

I love the illustrations, too cute!

I'm glad you found some jeans thou!

Corey~living and loving said...

I love how creative you are! :)

Ebony Shanti said...

This had me laughing so hard I cried. I often resort to wearing men's jeans, but always feel like everyone's gonna mention how much my butt looks like a guy's! Thanks for sharing your jean-shopping sorrows and joys :D

Angie Ledbetter said...

WTG. No mo jean-induced trauma! (Hope you bought several pair.) :)

Judith Shakespeare said...

That's okay... 'cause in blog world, holly is a goddess. This is like one of my most favoritist (shut-up, it's totally a word) posts ever. :)

Amy said...

Too funny! I think we all know too well this experience. You know the very EXPENSIVE (of course) jeans always seem to fit me just fine. Other than the fact that the legs are about a foot too long. We can't all be a 5'11" supermodel now can we?

jill jill bo bill said...

Be warned. Putting your hands in the front pockets, makes your crotch itch. I've seen it happen many many times.

Eudea-Mamia said...

I'm so trying that with men's bathing suits.

Texan Mama @ Who Put Me In Charge said...

Girlfriend I have the same deal! Except reversed! My legs are okay, actually I'd say they're my best asset. But my stomach/waist? Please look away. And after 4 children? It is like a giant kangaroo pouch, but less furry (not I did not say free of fur, just LESS furry.) And dimply. And stark white because who ever thought that post-partum women will ever get into a 2-piece again? Not this Mama! So, I got the muffin top thang goin on, not pretty. Men's jeans fit me great because, quite often, men have the giant beer belly with nice little birdy legs to go along with it. Like MEEEEEE!

Larissa said...

ROFL @ jill jill's comment! HA!

Holly has JEANS now! I can't tell you how many times I wandered over to the men's section for my jeans... FINALLY some companies are starting to realize that YES, there are some women who require an inseam longer than 32". WHEW! Old Navy is now my new jeaniest best friend with their 35" talls. =)

Threeboys1mommy said...

Why didn't you talk to me about it? I was a retail professional pre-babies. They also make a boyfriend cut/fit, which is technically mens jeans in the womens department.

Barbara said...

That was very funny Holly. Finding the right pair of jeans is such a precious moment.

Debbie said...

Well, the latest rage is guys wearing our jeans, so why not?

kompostela said...

Some of my friends also buy men's jeans:))) But now you know where to find good jeans next time:))

the mama bird diaries said...

I'm very happy for Holly. Eternal bliss can be found in a great pair of fitting jeans...no matter where they came from.

Paisley Raven said...

I feel ur pain. I happen to be shaped more like a Bartlett pair, so I haven't worn jeans in at least 7 years. Since my youngest was conceived/born.
He actually read this with me & liked it. Elder boy -the beginning of the death of my figure- read it too, and thought it hysterical.
Gotta teach the kid what to expect when he gets out in life.
Thanks & YOU have been Stumbled!

~Raven

Roger said...

Being a man has all the perks! Cheaper hair cuts, cheaper clothes, no monthly visitors, and now better fitting jeans! What's not to love? :)

Joy the Baker said...

Ha! What a great post! I'm so glad I stumbled on you blog. I'll be back again soon!

Amy Warden said...

I was just thinking the same thing as Joy the Baker. Thanks for the laugh!!!

Madge said...

stinking jeans...... i started buying them at coldwater creek...

Danielle said...

Oh my gosh, I'm going to totally try the men's next time...will I need to bring a sock? or do they provide that...like a nylon at the shoe store?

frogpondsrock said...

I had a brilliant comment, almost certainly "peep of the week" worthy. then I read Danielle's comment *sigh* How can I comment after reading that little gem..

Ali said...

in jean shopping life, you take whatever works...i have a few pairs of jeans from THE KID SECTION AT OLD NAVY. hahah!

Reluctant Housewife said...

Men's jeans are great! I used to wear them before I popped out a couple of babies and my shape changed for ever and ever.

EatPlayLove said...

Oh my goodness. Holly you do not need to wear men's jeans in 2009. I did that in the 80's because I had no choice. Go buy yourself a pair of Joe's Jeans, they'll have a fit for you, they come in lengths, and they were made for your gorgeous body.

Heather said...

Oh how I love those drawings. I just went Jean shopping. Five different stores - no jeans. Maybe I should try mens.

Jamie said...

I'm visiting from Nanny Goats in Panties blog. Loved this post cause now I know I'm not the only one that wear's a pair of men's jeans...Have a great weekend!

suzannah said...

this is awesome. jeans shopping is a nightmare, but i think you're still ahead of the curve: men's jeans beat mom jeans any day of the week:)

Anonymous said...

Don't feel bad, Holly. Aren't the boys these days wearing OUR jeans? Uck!

Louise said...

I. HATE. JEANS. SHOPPING. I only have one pair that fits right now, too. I am pretty sure the men's department wouldn't be helpful, though.

MoscowMom said...

How funny! But hey... They fit! I finally found a pair during this past trip to Colorado and wanted to to break into that "Ode to Joy" in the dressing room!!! Super drawings.

foolery said...

My current best-fitting jeans are on my sad, sad butt right now. They are Mom Jeans.

You heard me.

Mom jeans.

Now don't be a hater. That's all that fits right. I know, I know -- and some mens jeans are okay, too! But they have to be for a really big man.

This was too funny -- Holly's Animated Life FTW -- again!

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