2:46 PM

When minivans attack (part I)...

Posted by Holly Homer |

It is December 28, 2007. Holly has just dumped lovingly left the boys with grandma.

She is off for a fabulous day on the town ALONE to get ready for the big anniversary celebration she and blog-Stedmam are having the following day in honor of 17 years of blissful marriage.

Today, she has a strenuous schedule of a pedicure, shopping and expensive coffee buying/drinking planned. Did she mention that the boys not with her?

Look at Holly! She is so excited. Good for Holly. Oh! And she is about to mail her LAST Christmas card of the 2007 season. Look at Holly! She is so excited. Good for Holly.

Holly drives the minivan of death that looks like a boat from above to the end of the driveway.

Holly steps out of the minivan of death that looks like a boat from above to mail her last Christmas card of the 2007 season. Holly returns to the minivan of death that looks like a boat from above and opens the door right into her forehead (see "X").

Yes, Holly opened the minivan of death that looks like a boat from above's door right into her very own forehead that has been part of her body for more than 37 years (see "X"). Holly looks around to see if anyone witnessed such a silly event.
Holly then realizes that blood is pouring out of the forehead that has been part of her body for more than 37 years. Holly pauses, applies pressure and thinks, "Crap. I am wearing my favorite sweater."

Holly gets into the minivan of death that looks like a boat from above and drives backwards to the house applying pressure to her forehead that has been part of her body for more than 37 years.

Holly goes into the house and looks in the mirror to assess the damages to her forehead that has been a part of her body for more then 37 years.

Oh no. Holly is bloody. Holly is very bloody. Bloody, bloody Holly.

Holly gently calls grandma. Grandma knows something is wrong when she sees Bloody Holly. Grandma suggests that she take Bloody Holly to the hospital. Grandma loads up the minivan of death that looks like a boat from above with all the boys and Bloody Holly. Let's take a field trip to the hospital!

In the minivan of death that looks like a boat from above, Bloody Holly calls blog-Stedman for advice. Blog-Stedman seems like a good person for Bloody Holly to call because he went to medical school and works at a world class hospital.

Blog-Stedman says he will meet Bloody Holly in the parking lot of the world class hospital (see "X").

Bloody Holly arrives in the minivan of death that looks like a boat from above to the world class hospital's parking lot and is met by by blog-Stedman, MD and blog-Stedman's partner, MD.

To be continued...
What will become of Bloody Holly?
What will become of the world class hospital parking lot consult?
What will become of Holly's favorite sweater?

Click here for Part II of When Minivans Attack.


Christine @ Serenity How? said...

Oh no! Poor, poor Bloody Holly.

I'm so glad the big whack to your head didn't cause you to lose your sense of humor.

Poor, poor you. :(

...and of course I'll be waiting for the sequel.

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

This is a way funnier story this time around with the world-class illustrations!

Happy Campers said...

Girl, you are nuts with your new markers.

Jeff says "penis cake"...whatever that means...maybe it will make your Google results even more interesting :) hehehehee That's why he's not allowed to post on our family blog.

Anonymous said...

Oh, my. And, I didn't realize you got married when you were 21. So did I. 17 years, huh? We're just about to hit the 9 mark.

I think Dr. Daddy will fix you all up with some sexy sutures. Cause, having seen you since the bloody Holly episode, you had no scar.

Also, this Holly is a mega klutz, too. Did I ever ask if you are a Dec. baby? Cause that would be uncanny.

jenn said...

You tell an awesome story!

Tootsie Farklepants said...

I've got something for you over at my blog!

Madge said...

you are killing me. you have missed your calling. no, wait. you've found it.

are you going to just blog all day?

Beth said...

Ouch! Can't quite imagine how you did that! You look like Cousin It in the Bloody Holly pictures.

A Mom Two Boys said...

Have I told you recently how much I love you? Cause I do.

And, why are all your Adsense ads for "Christian Teen Rehab"? Did I miss a post here somewhere?

And #2, Can I request a drawn picture post redo? I'd like to see my favorite post EVAH re-created awesomely in marker. The picture one. You know what one I'm talkin' bout.

Donna Rosenbloom said...

Holly, you are a hoot! I'm looking forward to reading your blog every day (and getting a good chuckle too).

Manic Mommy said...

Blood Holly = Sissy Spacek in Carrie?

the planet of janet said...

this is me, in my bedroom, which is not shaped like a boat from above, but instead is more like kinda square with a little notchy thing in the corner that would be a closet, telling you, bloody holly, that you are very very very funny.

and a good drawer too.

wait. i mean you draw good. not that you are a drawer, like where you might have put your favorite sweater. unless it was ruined when it got bloody.

i'll shut up now.

InTheFastLane said...

He, He... not laughing at you, you understand. But now I have that song about "Buddy Holly" stuck in my head. You know the one?

Jennifer H said...

You tell a bloody good story, Bloody Holly.

I'm on the edge of my seat that does not look like a boat from above. Though I might.

Sleeping with Ward Cleaver said...

Please, tell me the really cute boots didn't get ruined with blood!!! Well, your head too ;-)

Kalynne Pudner said...

I want to hire you to illustrate all my academic books. Or better yet, stand behind me at the chalkboard while I lecture.

This is priceless! I'm so glad it's an old post, or else I'd be up all night worrying about you in the world-class hospital.

spinning in our own direction said...

poor bloddy holly has way to much free time on her hands to go back thru her poor bloody life and make pics!!! seriously!!! are you just trying to make the rest of us look bad!!! SERIOUSLY!!!!ok I have to admit I like them and think they are really cute.. but when do you have the $%*#* time???

GHD said...

Okay, those markers are the best purchase ever! I can't wait for Part II

Amy said...

Oh, no! By Tuesday Bloody Holly is sure to have bled out. Are you sure it is wise to make Bloody Holly wait that long in the World Class Hospital parking lot?

JCK said...

This is funnier and illustrations add to story, but I am still nauseated from imagining poor bloody Holly. Not to be read on a stomach full of tequila and chocolate.

Lisa said...

Very funny with the pictures (I love all the boys and the Mds smiling while bloody holly resembles a red cousin it ;)!
Can't wait for Tuesday

Valarie said...

Love the Bloody Holly Pictures. :)

Angie said...

Awww MAN! I HATE sequels that don't tell you they are sequels when they start. RATING PLOY! Good thing I read you daily (except for my one day off a week) anyway!


On a limb with Claudia said...

I have sooo done that. More than once. Getting glasses helped but still.... Sorry. I hope Stedman was delicious and wonderful.

Anonymous said...

ooh, ow. And go ahead and toss the camera, the stick figure theater rocks! :)

frog ponds rock... said...

You are now *My Hero* in your "looks like a boat from above" "favourite sweater and super cute boots.."

I especially liked grandma's halo..

all grandma's need a halo..


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