9:00 am: Holly is on the computer in the kitchen. Blog-Stedman looks over her shoulder. The younger boys are playing at the kitchen table with legos next to the oldest who is working on schoolwork. Ahhhh...nirvana.


9:01 am: Blog-Stedman leaves the room.

9:02 am: The three boys have requests for mommy. #1 wants help with his work. #2 would like another glass of milk. #3 begs to go to the potty (despite not being potty trained in ANY sense of the word).

9:04 am: Mommy fulfills all three requests. Mommy answers school question about math. Mommy obtains a full glass of milk from the fridge. Mommy sets baby on toilet. Good job Mommy!

9:05 am: Uh-oh! #1 needs help. Math emergency. #2 spills milk. Milk emergency. #3 pees on mommy. Plain old emergency.

9:06 am: #2 walks to bathroom to make sure mommy hears his screams about the milk.
Legend:
lime green: milk footprints
orange: milk + pee footprints

9:07 am: Mommy strips boys #2 and #3 and starts a load of urine and milk soaked clothes. Mommy washes her legs and feet. Boy #1 continues to scream for help.

9:09 am: Mommy uses 3 washcloths, a cleaner and 15 minutes to mop up the pee pool, the milk pool and the tributaries that connect the two. New clothes are placed on boys #2 and #3.

9:24 am: Mommy sits back at computer. #1 has figured out his math problem on his own. #2 and #3 sit with new clothes at table playing with legos. Ahhh...nirvana.


9:25 am: Blog-Stedman walks into room and inquires whether Holly is going to spend the whole day blogging.

43 comments:

Suzie said...

I am totally with you on that. Nothing like a pee and milk bath good for the skin I hear. Love the drawings.

Pinky said...

9:26 Holly hits Blog-Stedman upside the head with her favorite skillet.

heheheharhar.
This is MY LIFE. You hear me? MY LIFE.
Good to know I"m not so alone!

Hey, I'm calling on you for a blogging favor. come check out my diggs.

The Laundress~JJ! said...

This is so funny, I can't stand it...

Then again, I know how true this is and I feel bad laughing at you.

On a limb with Claudia said...

You skipped the part where, once naked, the boys run around for a while reveling in their nakedness. ;)

yes, well, poor Stedman. He's cute but a little dumb and deaf.

laughingatchaos said...

Yeah, they never get the behind the scenes details, do they? Have ye a dog? 'Cause then the dog would then have to go out...and come in...and go out...and come back in trailing its own poop. Because Murphy is in charge.

InTheFastLane said...

is blog S. Still alive? I love the pictures. And yes, so typical.

GHD said...

I would have said, "No, I'm leaving the house. Good luck!" hehe!

So typical!!!

Domestic Accident said...

Baaaaaah! Hilarious.

KiS said...

ha, i love it! yesterday i took cade's diaper off about 10 minutes before bath-he has a rash. what did he do? he POOPED on my kitched floor. after i cleaned crap, i picked him up to take him to the bath and he peed on me. i feel your pain.

Amy W said...

Once again, hilarious!

Madge said...

oh. you know how i feel about this. have i had this conversation with the man? oh wait, wait, wait. ok, i just had that conversation again.

Happy Campers said...

Your artwork blog posts should be a regular fixture. I LOVE them!! Glad you got everything cleaned AND made it to CoOp in time. You're one snazzy gal! :)

Melizzard said...

Amen, but in my world The Dr. would be coming back from his 100% solo time showering and shaving and then asking me something like, why haven't you gotten ready to go instead of blogging.

Angie said...

Sounds like a pretty typical morning of a SAHM. And a pretty typical clueless comment of ANY Dad.

KEEP BELIEVING

A Mom Two Boys said...

Ha Ha Ha! That's funny. I especially like the paper covering up Blog Steadman. If only it were that easy in real life.

Oh...pee and milk. Sounds like my life but with only one boy culprit.

fullheartandhands mama said...

You made that up so that your husband would think you really do things other than blog. Right?

Because, that's all we SAHMs do. The elves do the rest, you know?

anglophilefootballfanatic said...

You need Hubby dear to return to the hospital from whence he came! Any restaurant ideas?

jenny gardiner said...

OMG I'm having flashbacks of 'Nam. I mean of Fairfax (where I lived when my kids were that age)...This is hilarious. I love your art work the best!

Queen Mommy said...

Hmmmmm...

jennifer h said...

So when is the memorial service? :-)

I was laughing my head off the whole way through.

I love it when you illustrate your stories.

spinning in our own direction said...

Ha HA HA!!! that is so typical they really do thik all we do is sit around eating bon bons.. I did have jason come read and he about fell out of his chari laughing so hard. He was wondering if blog-s. needed a place to sleep tonight..

Valarie said...

Men they just don't get it. I just love it when my Hubby asks "is that all your going to do." Even though he just saw me do laundry and clean the kitchen, while he sat in front of the TV. Gotta love em. :)

Sadie said...

*LOL* That sounds terribly familiar....

binky ink said...

I love it! Will you illustrate the children's book I haven't written yet?

OHmommy said...

no kidding... you are a great artist.

your day sounds very famaliar. lol. :)

Betsy Bird said...

You shouldn't make me laugh that hard when I'm trying to wind down so I can go to sleep.

Marlee said...

And that is EXACTLY why I have to do all of my blogging in the closet.

Rachael said...

OMG I am ROTFL

(tranlation: that was pretty darn funny) hehe

You could have a career in illustration.

Derrick and Blog-Stedman might get along well. But I don't think we should get them together. They would just talk smack about their blog-head wives. Or wait, maybe Blog-Stedman doesn't actually call you names...

Also, must add how much it drives me crazy that every time I touch my computer it's assumed I'm blogging. I do work on it sometimes, pay bills, you know, important stuff...I'm just sayin'...

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

Teenagers don't pee on you. I'm feeling pretty lucky right now.

You know you could kill him and get acquitted if you just get the right jury!

Kalynne Pudner said...

I'm struck by the serendipity of having a husband named (in part) "Blog." Maybe he meant to ask if you were going to DO Blog all day.

Greta said...

See, you totally need a blog-Gayle. Blog-Gayles are MUCH more useful. They do, however, insist on having their own shows.

the planet of janet said...

bwahahahahahaha...

9:55 p.m.: janet spews diet coke all over her computer keyboard after reading this post.

Veronica said...

Oh! You're like me. Apparently I spend all my time on the computer.

Go figure.

Lisa said...

Holly I would laugh but the story is all too painfully familiar!

Beth said...

Where is the picture Mommy bopping Blog-Stedman on the head with said computer?? :)

Jennifer said...

wow! is blog stedman alright or does he need stiches??? lol lol

and I thought this kind of stuff only happened in my house. :)

xoxoxo's Jenn

MoscowMom said...

OMG, how funny!!!!! And again, I loved the illustrations and clever use of paper to simply cover up your hubby...

Your morning sounds SOOOOOOO familiar!!! With two girls, though, I've only been peed on a few times. THROWN-UP on, however, well... That's a whole different story.

It was particularly joyful our first three years in Moscow when I had no dryer.

Momo Fali said...

Truly hysterical! I have tears in my eyes. You just wrote and illustrated my biography.

Ron Davison said...

Future anthropologists will be able to use this to understand the life of mothers in the early part of the 21st century. And yes, I was laughing out loud.

Motherhood for Dummies said...

ha ha ah! I love it. Please tell me that you informed him what you have been doing.

Tootsie Farklepants said...

re: Blog-Stedman, did you slap him? Please tell me you slapped him.

Amy said...

I knew that was going to happen! doesn't it always happen that way?
LOL

Manic Mommy said...

9:26 Blog-Stedman now in washer with milk/pee.

Hysterical!

So the potty training is going well, I see.

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