7:51 AM

My butt is burning: the story...

Posted by texasholly |

Last year in January, I took blog-Stedman to Las Vegas for our 15th wedding anniversary. I made all the arrangements as a surprise. He really doesn't like to travel and he hates surprises so I don't really think I was paying attention in our marriage at that point, but that is not this story. I had reserved a rental car through one of those online price comparision sites and chosen the cheapest mid-size car since we were not staying on the strip and that is this story...

We get to the car rental place in a colossol line...wait...wait...wait...finally! I sign the paperwork and we are free to find our car in the gigantic parking lot. Our stripped down sedan is a shell of a car. It barely has a steering wheel. We hop in and it stinks. bad. really. really. bad. I want to go get a different car, but my blog-Stedman is tired of the wait and the walk and just wants to get to our hotel. So we are off with him driving the smelly sedan skeleton. We had gone about 3 miles and this conversation emerges:

Him(frustrated): My seat warmer is on.
Me(mocking): This car doesn't have seat warmers, it doesn't even have power windows. It must be the sun from where it was parked. We are in Vegas, baby (the baby was added to this story for dramatic effect and did not appear in the actual story).

2 miles later,
Him(exasperated): My seat warmer is on!
Me(exasperated and mocking): THIS CAR DOESN'T HAVE SEAT WARMERS. Why would they need seat warmers in this part of the country? It is January. It is 70 degrees.
(I know it gets cold in Vegas too, but really seat warmer cold? I think not.)

1 mile later,
Him(exasperated and desperate): My butt is burning! Get the manual out of the glove compartment and look up how to turn off these seat warmers.
Me(assured and being reassuring): There are no seat warmers in this car. They don't need them here and this pile of junk wouldn't have them.

Right then, no mileage has accrued,
Him(exasperated, desperate and close to tears?): My butt is burning if you don't get the manual and turn my seat warmer off I am going to stop this car on the side of the road and do it myself.
Me(quietly offended at being spoken to in that manner): Well OK.

So, I look in the manual and find the seat warmer page (CRAP! A whole page dedicated to seat warmers in this manual is not a good sign for my side of the argument) and found the switch (CRAP!) There is a switch which can only mean... Really people, put two and two together...that car had no business having seat warmers.

19 comments:

Courtney said...

Love the story. Who really has seat warmers in Vegas in a skelaton of a car though? Seriously, I understand your side.

jennifer h said...

No business, no business at all. That is so funny. Some rentals don't even have power windows. I would have been just as disbelieving.

Burgh Baby's Mom said...

Men are so helpless. Can't even find a stupid butt warmer power switch without help . . .

A Mom Two Boys said...

HaaHa. Sounds like something I'd do to DJ. How was the rest of the trip?

Tootsie Farklepants said...

The seat warmers were probably in lieu of an actual heater.

Angie said...

Nevadanese (how do you categorize those from Nevada?) are big cold butt wimps. They need seat warmers for the days it gets below 50.
KEEP BELIEVING

Rachael said...

classic and hilarious; that so could have happened to me!

on the other hand, derrick thinks it's hilarious to slyly turn my seat warmer on high when i'm not paying attention. which is so not funny.

anglophilefootballfanatic said...

That's so funny. Puppy's volvo in high school had them & one shorted out (mine!) sending my biscuits burning, too. I refused to ride in it until he got the car fixed.

Nap Warden said...

I love the seat warmers...not in Vegas though. At least it was his butt burning and not yours:)

Kellan said...

Oh, what a funny story! This is so something that would happen to us - to ME! Funny! Take care - Kellan

Jen said...

Wow. You really know how to set your man on fire, don't ya!

Too funny!

Rachel said...

Seriously rolling.
Bless your heart, but thanks for the giggles :-)
Her finger is alright :-)
Apparently, you cannot kill Aloe. I thought we had. It came back and it's healthy and I'll be darned. Who knew you could grown that, by the driveway, in S. Texas :-) LOL.

Kristian said...

Great story! Too funny that he had to get you to find the switch.

DOMESTIC DIVA said...

Oh my goodness that is hilarious!

JCK said...

THAT is funny. And how was the REST of the anniversary trip?

LaskiGal said...

You know, I was kinda happy it had seat warmers. I mean, the alternative could have resulted in a burned off rear end . . .

Jerseygirl89 said...

I was totally expecting the seat to be actually burning because of some problem with the car. But that story made me laugh out loud anyway.

Candi said...

LOL!!! Don't you hate it when they are right?

imaginary binky said...

Haha! That happens in our car all the time. The darn switches are in the center console where our arms or items are bound to hit them. Every once in awhile, a phantom ghost rubs our buns and heats us without permission. We have to be careful that we aren't transporting our friend who says that butt warmers always make him need to do the number two.

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