Children all over the metroplex are waking up horrified that the meteorologist promised ice storm did not materialize. Last night these children had willingly gone to bed with visions of all day TV festivals in their heads. I might have dampened their dreams by mentioning that the meteorologists in central TX are only a step above the ones I used to watch in LA in their prediction ability. When you can deliver the same weather report and be accurate 95% of the time there appears to be very little honing of weather predicting skills. The poor children of central Texas rarely see snow (although if there is a flake in the air, school is most certainly cancelled) and pin their hopes on ice storms for school relief. Mother Nature usually obliges at least once a year. The roads can be hazardous, but the real fear is other Texas drivers. STAY OFF THE ROADS. STAY OFF THE SIDEWALKS. STAY IN THE BACK BEDROOM OF YOUR HOUSE. The native Texas driver in large extended cab pick-up (man) or giant SUV (woman) has no bad weather driving experience yet shifts into 4WD like it is Magical Transport-To-Destination Mode (MTTDM). No need to remove cell phone from ear when you are in MTTDM! MTTDM requires no slowing of speed! Thank God for MTTDM. MTTDM lives up to its name until it encounters the other type of Texas driver: Super Slow, I May Die Instantly If My Car Registers A Speed On The Dial, Lord Help Me, I Should Have Stayed Home Until Spring Driver (SSIMDIIMYRASOTDLHMISHSHUSD). Yeah, these two groups should never, never mix. It gets ugly. Care Flight gets involved. The SSIMDIIMYRASOTDLHMISHSHUSD then has his worst fears confirmed. His destiny fulfilled. Hey Texas, I have a solution! This may sound crazy, but what if everyone just drove in a cautious manner with moderate speed and attention to the road? Since I haven't been able to get the novel message to the Texas masses, I will have to admit that I am glad the temps are above freezing today. Shhh...just don't tell the kids.

14 comments:

Jodi said...

that is the worst. when they think they are getting a "snow" day and they don't. you've pretty much described Georgia. i could steal your post and just change the word "texas" to "georgia" throughout the post...

Lisa said...

Don' t tell my kids but I'm happy it stayed above freezing too--I personally did not want another long weekend!

Happy Campers said...

HAHAHAHAHA! So darn true. Glad you braved the weather & came to visit today. We had fun :) Although my dogs just swiped Reese's lard-covered birseed bagel. Stupid dogs.

kitykity said...

I live in central Texas too. Yeap, no ice, no snow. I bet we'll see it, though, before the end of February...

Susan
Susan's Journal

Tootsie Farklepants said...

We have a whole lot of SSIMDIIMYRASOTDLHMISHSHUSD trying to reach destinations over here too. They really SHSH.

JCK said...

You are SO funny. Yes, and I remember what driving in hazardous conditions was like when I was in Georgia, like Jodi said. I thought this post was hysterical. And also somewhat true about hiding out in the back bedroom! No, the front of your house is not sacred. Now in LA, we've been having amazingly heavy rain for the last few days. I'm just staying inside on my raft. The kids have life preservers.

And...lovely lady, I did your meme today. Thanks for tagging me, even if I do complain... :)

Sandy C. said...

oh hun, so sorry :( You can have some of our many feet of snow here in Boston! Coming from Florida and California, I hate driving in cold weather....I don't trust other drivers, and I definitely don't trust my own during winter!

Rachel said...

*snort* *giggle*
Believe it. Texans (especially South and Central) are clueless when it comes to snow or ice, but damn it's funny to watch!
This was too funny!!

A Mom Two Boys said...

I so could have written them myself. But about CA.

jennifer h said...

Funny stuff. I'll admit, when the roads are even a little bad, I fall into the SSIMDIIMYRASOTDLHMISHSHUSD group. But since we live in Arizona now, I'm blessedly separate from the crazy driving world. Except for the snowbirds who come here from October to April, who drive that way on perfectly dry warm roads. Always.

jameil1922 said...

oooh. large extended cab pick-up. i need one of those. now that i live up here i know once i move back south i will be making fun of people for their "AAAAAHHHHH .10 OF AN INCH"ness even tho that was me just 2 years ago.

Jenn said...

Being in North Texas, my kids were massively disappointed that no ice materialized. I told them how sad I was...right up until I laughed and hooted as I dropped them off at school to hit Starbucks then my couch with a blanket, a fire in the fireplace and no children.

You also forgot to mention that when there is even a bit of possibility of any kind of ice in Texas, you must RACE to the grocery store. No one really knows why, but you MUST GO NOW.

Donna said...

Since I stay home now (no commute for me to worry about) and my girl is too young for school, I have been tuning out those freeze warnings. But I do think it's funny that when I hear the weather is going to be bad or icy, I still want to go to the store to buy lots of comfort food. Not stockpile per se, but just in case I have a craving for pizza rolls and it's too icy to go get them.

donna @ spuddybuddy.com

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