10:57 AM

Sanity and the Aunt Dorothy effect, part I...

Posted by Holly Homer |

In an effort to maintain my sanity, I am going to try the "Aunt Dorothy" effect. I attribute my ability to appear relatively sane in public to a two-fold approach of yoga and blogging. My yoga teacher is out of town for another week so its up to you blog. So what about Aunt Dorothy? My great Aunt Dorothy was known throughout the family as a running commentary. For instance, if you were driving with her, a story about her cat could be interupted with "look at that fence with the hubcaps on it" or a clever poem would be paused for "I bought 3 candles at that store once, they are made out of beeswax". Ahh, really bored regular reader the genetic truth leads to better understanding. So, throughout the day I am going to blog unfiltered and I want to remind you that you are under no contractural obligation to continue reading (in fact, if this is the first time you have visited, let me just apologize and state that I usually pretend to be better than this).

Hey Mother Nature: Cold rain is NOT a suitable substitute for snow or a warm sunny day.

This is very funny and makes me laugh every time I think of it. Mom, you can skip it.

Why am I feeding my children snacks at 10:55 when they will want lunch at 11:30?

I will soon be accepting patients in my new practice as a Toy Surgeon. With careful, surgical precision, you can open up a noisy toy and render it silent without decreasing its mobility or light action. Be careful novices, you have to snip the right wire or elmo may never dance again.

I just noticed that my second cup of coffee is still sitting underneath the Senseo machine...maybe that is why I am so dreary...I'll heat it up and see if I can get to full Holly perky potential.

MMMMmmm. Much better.

When I am rich and famous I am going to hire a personal chef. It is no secret that getting anything edible a healthy dinner on the table is a struggle for me. I even freely take-out, order in (only ONE place delivers to my rural suburban home) and make-to-take-and-bake and I still can't get it together. So, riches and fame will come in handy in this area and I am going straight to the personal chef store when my ship comes in.

Food. crap, what am I going to eat for lunch?

I really should be taking down Christmas decorations and sorting them neatly into boxes. Prior to this holiday, they were taking up the square-footage of our first house in the attic and it has been a goal to decrease that amount to things I actually want to see next year and I am sure Goodwill really wants my home-made, glue-gunned, dust-infested grapevine theme wreaths from 12 years ago. I smell a huge charitable TAX deduction in my future...blog-Stedman will be giddy.

The boys got the "Lets go Fishin'" game. I am still without fish. Ryan can clear the pond in 1.5 minutes, Reid catches all the blue ones and even the baby can catch an occasional fish. I am so bad at it that I have to say no when asked to play it.

My Uncle sent us the coolest, most random present. It is a "lighted sphere" from Pottery Barn. It looks like the ball that is dropped in New York. And the most fantastic coincidence is that there will be a New Year's Eve Party at my house this year...I am so going to drop the lighted sphere off the 2nd story balcony into the entry way at midnight. Blod-Stedman thinks I am crazy (sooooo unusual) but seriously if I went to a party and someone did that I would think...wow, that is so over the top, I must get to know this person better. Put your judgement on hold until AFTER the event...I promise to post pictures of the before and after and let people who are STILL reading this, wow, you must be really boredthe public decide.

OK, chicken nuggets to table time...I may be back later...

4 comments:

Jodi said...

you're crazy. i'm not sure i'm going to be able to muster up any blogging while my mom is here....

Happy Campers said...

I LOVED the rap graphs! That's hillarious...

I've decided to narrow down our Christmas decorations too. I only put out a small handful of our decorations this year since our house is for sale, & I told Jeff last night that I actually liked it better with less Christmas stuff out. :) Time to empty some of those storage bins out with decorations from college!

Lisa said...

Aunt Dorothy sounds like someone my sometimes ADD mind might enjoy :)
Can you believe I have always dreamed of being a personal chef? I was all set to go to school in AZ but I kept getting pregnant.

HRH said...

Lisa, you are so hired except that I can't pay you and I have no idea what we will do with our collective 7 children...we will work out the details later.

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