6:19 AM

MOM vs. TODDLER

Posted by Holly Homer |



The boys get up early.

As in hours before daylight that God didn't intend for people to BE AWAKE or He would have sent the sun earlier, early.

After several years of Nirvana management I came up with a clever scheme to assure that I didn't see the boys TOO EARLY.

At first, before they could tell time, we set the TV to automatically come on at 6:30. They were allowed to come down and watch TV when they heard Peep's theme song.

As the boys have matured the rules have slightly changed. They can now tell time so no one is allowed out of their bed before 6:15 and no one is allowed downstairs until all three boys are fully dressed AND (not OR) it is past 6:30.

This means the boys pick out their own clothes. They and are assisted by a 7 y/o fashion director. Some days their clothes match. Other days...not so much.

Really, not matching is no big deal. But during three months out of the Texas calendar, weather makes it a big deal. The boys are used to wearing shorts, t-shirts and crocs 24/7. Long pants are difficult to endure, socks are painful and a coat is downright torture.

Last Friday the outside temperature dipped into the *gasp* 30s. We were scheduled to do a little hike with friends OUTDOORS. We were to meet them at 10:00.

6:30--Three boys dressed in shorts and t-shirts run down the stairs.
7:00--breakfast, discussion of plans...excitement builds for the days activities until I mention we will have to change clothes.
7:30--all joy has left the Nirvana household. Grumbling and bargaining ensue.
8:00--I go upstairs to pick out alternative, warmer clothes.
8:15--Moaning.
8:30--Wailing.
8:45--Gnashing of teeth.
9:00--Two older boys have been threatened into submission of warmer attire.
9:01--Time to take on the 2 y/o...

Yes, it is the classic battle of MOM vs. TODDLER.

Will years of mommy on-the-job training win out?
or...
Will the crafty toddler's unconventional play ruin the game plan?

The game starts as expected. Mom uses size and strength to her advantage by holding down toddler limbs while stuffing them into long sleeves and pant legs. The toddler utilizes his massive lung capacity as an effective defense.

Luckily this mother has been training for a long time and holds not only determination, but endurance. The clothes are donned.
Mom-1
Toddler-0

The mother applies socks to the flailing legs but realizes that she is outmatched when it comes to tying shoes onto such a persistent offense. She gives up the point and allows the crocs over socks.
Mom-1
Toddler-1

The mother then pulls out the dreaded coat. The toddler screams in horror. The mother delays the game by taking the coat in the car.

When the destination is reached, the mother attempts to place the coat on the child. The toddler's quick spinning and melting moves are too quick for the mother...it appears that this point will go to the toddler.

EXCEPT

The mother feigns defeat. The mother leads the toddler on the hike sans coat.

What is this mother thinking?

It is COLD!

Three minutes pass in the windy 35 degree woods.

The mother asks the toddler if he is cold.

Yes.

Would the toddler like to wear the coat the mother lovingly brought?

Yes.

Mom-2
Toddler-1

*insert end of game celebration here*

30 comments:

Eudea-Mamia said...

Seriously - what is up with kids and coats!? I'm impressed by your Yoda mind trick skills.

Wise one you are.

Still totally digging the new do. You make me want to go back to the color that God intended.

Angie Ledbetter said...

Smart Mom. These skills will come in ever so handy during teenagerdom! (I've been up since 5:30 AAAA.MMMM. sopping up and wet-vaccing water on the WOOD floors from one teenager's tub overflow sometime during the night.) Ah, the joys of motherhood never cease!

carmen said...

Love the story! But more importantly.......OMG!!!! You're a brunette! I had to do a double-take. You look great!!

KLS said...

Fun times! Congratulations on your win.

I wish there was a way to instill a morning wake up time for my one year old. She gets up for the day every morning between 4:00 and 5:00, usually closer to 4:00. I can't wait for the day I can implement rules about not waking me up until after 6:00!

Rachel said...

Hello hotness with her brunette locks of loveliness :-)

Dude, we are all too familiar with the great Toddler struggle.
I feel you and I love your brilliance :-)

I'm all about letting them go outside and freeze those 15 days out of the year in Texas. They quickly realize their mistake and want to come back in.

Mom 2 Toddler 1 not bad, how long will that last?

Teri said...

Ding ding, we have a winnah!

Excellent job, love the (all too familiar) story.

Marinka said...

The solution is to move to Hawaii. Aloha.

InTheFastLane said...

I am sending you Jack Jack. On Sunday, I thought he was going to church in his Underwear. And it was 25 degrees out. He is strong...and we still have 6 or 7 more months of long pants, long sleeves, socks and jackets. Maybe he will give in sooner or later, but I doubt it.

Lisa said...

Were you peaking through my window this morning because coat-fighting is exactly what went on. I finally gave up and he gave in ;)

Heather said...

Oh I have so been there with the toddler wrestling. I definitely lose at the socks and sometimes shoes. My kids have a love/hate relationship with shoes.

Courtney said...

You knew he would get cold. You are one smart mama!

Manic Mommy said...

So painful, so deafening, so familiar.

I'm changing your name to June Clever.

Corine said...

THIS IS HYSTERICAL.. yet it is my life EVERY DAY and I at those moments I dont find it quite as funny. lol

My son is a ridulous early bird also btw, and we've been trying everything under the sun to get him to sleep later... dark shades, going to sleep later... nothing matters-6:15 or EARLIER!! he's up screaming to get out of bed...although he's gotten better at that part- this week hes actually gotten himself out of bed and came into our room on our own...guess its a start right?

If you have any helpful hiints to get them to sleep later, magic spells whatever- lol ... PLEASE, I BEG YOU ... do share!!!

Chase said...

A yes, toddler wrestling. Intended outfit - pink t-shirt, pink/brown camo cargo pants & sneakers - after a brief "discussion" she opted for pink and brown horizontal striped turtleneck, pink/blue/red/silver horizontal striped pants, white socks and coral flip-flops...it was toddler "hot" - once she was dressed I decided my husband should do today's daycare drop off...

Aria said...

LMAO I just tell my kids that I'm bigger. I win.
You have three awards waiting for you over at my blog... Happy Thanksgiving!
http://ariazink.blogspot.com
Congrats!

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

Sometimes the best offense is a good defense.

Misty said...

congrats on a WELL DESERVED victory... Bonus point?

Happy Campers said...

:) You learned my sanity saving trick! Instead of arguing about jackets or hats or whatever, I just say "You'll be cold!" and stick them in the car/backpack.

Sure enough, he always ALWAYS says "I'd like my jacket now!" and I didn't have to bargain at all...

Amy Trice (Graco) said...

Well played! I was on the losing end of this battle this morning. I'm taking notes for future reference.

Roger said...

Oh my, how strong-willed those two year olds are (by the way 30's are still shorts weather around here, just don't tell Jenni.), and I find that they can have pretty wicked right and left crosses on occasion. In case you were wondering, it doesn't matter if the two-year old is a boy or a girl, same battles. (I LOVE THEM!!)

Whoa! Cool new do (is that spelled right?), now I am wondering if I missed an installment, because last I saw you were blonde. It looks great by the way, and I'm not just saying that.

Have a great Thanksgiving!!

Maggie May said...

and game!

Jenni Jiggety said...

I hope you did a funky touchdown dance!

And I am so digging the hair! Maybe I need to go darker?

the planet of janet said...

she shoots... she SCORES!!!!!!!!!

go, mom!

Valarie Lea said...

I was just gonna say let them run around in the cold, it wont last to long. :)

Reluctant Housewife said...

Yay mom!

Yes. When Monkey was 2 it was a daily battle to get out of the house, then to get back in, then to get out again etc... repeat, repeat, repeat. It probably would have been easier to move somewhere warmer. :)

jubilee said...

And that's when you jubilantly throw the football down in the end zone and do one of those jiggety dances! Or is that just me?

I see some commenters are using flattery to gain Peep points . . . and I'd just like to say: boy you are looking thin and vibrant and well rested and . . . and . . . give me a minute, I'll think of more . . .

Leslie said...

You are so wise, I hope I'm like you when I grow up and become a mommy....

Where the heck do you go hiking in your neck of the woods????

Elaine A. said...

Um hello?! Is that you as a brunette? Totally loving it!

Did you do the "enzone" dance when it was all said and done?

Weaselmomma said...

The difference between a 2 year old and a terrorist is that you can negotiate with a terrorist.

jules said...

sounds like fun..

another great way to assure they don't wake you up too early in the morning is this... after you put them to bed, you go check into a hotel...

if they wake up too early and find mommy's not home.. that's what happens when you try to wake up mommy

.. let me know how it works lol.

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