1:16 AM

It is not me, it is Heidi--LINK HERE NOW!

Posted by Texasholly |



Mr. Linky is below! Please link to your funniest post (or at least something that makes you laugh...)

Today's post is by one of my favorite bloggers. It is Heidi from Frantically Simple. Heidi is a funny girl. Heidi can tell a story. Heidi made me laugh coffee through my nose with this post (the computer company logo picture). Heeeeeeeere's Heidi!


Once upon a time there was a Heidi.
Mrs Dolly as Heidi
The Heidi family had a husband,
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a daughter,
daughter dolly
and a dog.
shasta
Sidenote: Other actors tried out for the part of Shasta
didn't make call-backs
but none were quite right for the role.


Heidi liked to write.
Heidi also liked to color with markers.
Even though she was officially a grown-up.
For some reason no one could tell, Heidi liked to share her "art" with others. On the internet.
This is Heidi's computer.
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It is a laptop. It is three months old.
It does not smell like a lemon.
It does not look like a lemon.
But Heidi thinks it is a lemon.
If you look close you can see it says this:
dell hell
Heidi has had nothing but problems with her computer. Heidi wishes she had gotten a Mac, but Heidi's husband needed to use her new computer until his new job supplied him with a new laptop and a Mac was incompatible with his software.
If you understood that sentence, Heidi is impressed.
One day Heidi was trying to scan some of her drawings.
It was not working.
Heidi was angry.
Heidi was frustrated.
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Heidi was not sure why her laptop would no longer speak to three printers or a scanner.
It had become an aloof lemon.
Or why the 's' sticks, turning words like "sticks" into "tick".
Heidi has to watch carefully for ticks.
(Alternate line: It has caused Heidi to develop a tick.)

Heidi called Dell.
Dell said, "We do not wish to help you, Heidi. Please call the Geek Squad."
Heidi called the Geek Squad.
The Geek said, "We would be happy to help you, Heidi. Please give us $200."
Heidi became really angry.
She did not give the Geek $200. She took a nap.
Sometimes Heidi deals with her emotions like that.
She might have dreamed about doing this:
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but she did not.
When she woke up her Husband asked her to go for a drive.
He drove and drove and drove.
After an hour he ended up at a fruit stand.
A fruit stand that sells only Apples.
He said, "Heidi, why don't you buy a new laptop?"
Heidi said, "Um, ok." And smiled really big.
The Fruit Seller said, "The new iphone just came out. Please get in line. For two hours."
Heidi obeyed.
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But then Heidi remembered that she is a homeschool teacher now.
That means that she qualifies for a big discount.
But she had no proof. She needed an Official Homeschooling Mama badge from the state. But she doesn't have one yet.
So she left the line,
gave Mr. Frantic a big kiss,
and went home.
Then she remembered that as much as she wants a new laptop, she needs a new:
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So she is calling the Geek Squad tomorrow.

Heidi may not have a new laptop, but she has a great husband.
And he is totally compatible with her software.

***
And now it is YOUR turn. Please link directly to your funniest post.

(If the link doesn't go directly to the post, I will be forced to send out wild dogs to chew up your legs and then they will return and take your link down. Those mean dogs.)



Thanks for playing!

38 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm with Heidi, I need a new oven too. Hehe.

Thankyou again for hosting this!

the planet of janet said...

that? is hilarious.

although really, a mac is better than an oven.

Anonymous said...

I thought that post was funny the first time I read it. It was still funny the second time round.. Thanks Holly and thanks Heidi
cheers kim

Scary Mommy said...

Oh, I've so been there, LOL!!

I posted a story, too. Not the funniest ever, but it shows the stupidity of my dear husband, which is always funny to me.

Ash said...

Awesome - but Janet is correct. A Mac is infinitely better than an oven. And I want one, whah!

My link is to an older post, but is still, sadly, fairly relevant.

Em

Angie Ledbetter said...

Heidi proves once again the importance of good toys. Loved this.

Teri said...

That is so hilarious. I can totally relate to compueter issues, especially the part where you are expected to pay for help while you are holding a new computer.

I am playing along for the first time. Thanks!

3 Bay B Chicks said...

Heidi's story motivates me to look at my kid's toys in a whole new light. What a brilliant way to work out hidden aggression using the toy cars and trucks that I always seem to be tripping over! Thank you for the laughter and the inspiration.

Debbie said...

I love it when you do these! Last time I found so many great blogs and made some new friends. Thanks for letting us play along.

Beck said...

Oh my GOSH, you're funny, Heidi! I'm glad to meet you.
I linked to the post where I Thought I might have Listeria, which wasn't funny at the TIME.

Leandra said...

What a fun way to check out some new blogs!

Tara said...

Oh my gosh! That is hysterical!!!!!!!!!!

Sue Wilkey said...

I heart The Geek Squad. For the simple reason that they actually are, and dress like, geeks. It's the most awesomely fantastic truth-in-advertising. I pulled up next to one at a traffic light with his horn-rimmed glasses and white button-down short sleeve shirt and I was like YES!!!!!

ShallowGal said...

Just when I thought I might be productive today, you come to the rescue with lots of good new reading ! Muchas gracias!

xoxo, SG

LuckyMe said...

Fun post, Heidi, Holly. I missed the student special on free ipod touch with Mac laptop. Boo-hoo! Chugging along with my old gateway. No new toys in this economy.

Anonymous said...

What a great way to start my day! I'm really starting to think that all signs point to Macs.

Marinka said...

Love, love, love this post! Especially the animal audition. Some toys are so typecast.

Threeundertwo said...

I love the violent moment there, running over somebody. Heidi is sooo funny!

jill jill bo bill said...

That was great Heidi!

And you know, June Cleaver, this means I have to re-read my posts, which is pure torture, because I never remember which ones were funnier. (sigh) Can I count this as my workout today and skip walking tonight? I can?! Thanks!!!!

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the love Holly.
In your honor, I am posting my very first Adventures of Heidi story, which links back to you.
So - you post my post in which I put up a link, linking back to you. Got it?
My head hurts.

Suzie said...

I love that post. I love having pictures I think I am really about 6 years old

Lisa said...

Just found your blog from Eternal Sunshine! Love it! And I want to play. Anytime "it's not me, it's you" I'm all for it!

Anonymous said...

Thank you for having these types of posts. I am having a blast finding new blogs to follow. And I think I love Heidi's husband. ;)

Aracely said...

Heidi is my hero! That was so great I'm almost tempted to send her my Mac... almost.

Holly said...

Well, I certainly can't compete with your clever, visual humor, but for what it's worth, I linked.

Your kitchen is so clean, you must be a sick, sick woman. ;)

Why are laptops so sucky? Who knows, maybe you will get both an Apple and a new oven. A mom can dream....

Rachael said...

Wow. I'm finding myself rather distressed over how difficult it was to come up with "funniest post"-worthy post. I think, perhaps, I am more dramedy than comedy.

Lizz @ Yes, and So is My Heart said...

That was great!

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

You know it's funny when you laugh the second time you read it!

Terri Tiffany said...

LOL! I'd love to meet you! I'd doubt I'd ever stop laughing! Thanks again for a really really funny post!

Terri Tiffany said...

Too funny!!

The Stiletto Mom said...

I just found your adorable blog! Love it!

I would also like to add that my Dell computer makes me want to STICK MY HEAD in an oven so purchasing a new one so you have the right oven in which to stick your head is very important.

"The Queen in Residence" said...

Loved all the stand in's for actual people.....
Sorry for all the frustration but my parents love the GeekSquad. So maybe it will be a good thing....

Anonymous said...

This is such a terrific example of why you are one of the coolest people I know. Well done, Miss Holly!

Corey~living and loving said...

tee hee....thanks for the giggle. :)

Maggie May said...

that post was AWESOME.

Anonymous said...

Stop on by my blog...you have an award!

Anonymous said...

Wow, I missed it by two days... Sorry! I linked to me anyway... I'll make up for my lateness by visiting a bunch of other peoples' funniest posts. Thanks again for providing a spot to link.

Anonymous said...

Next time you should go to itokhome.com for computer support. It's much cheaper.

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