The Nirvana economy is not unlike that of major countries. Those in charge met for a financial summit to determine the outcome of the poorest Nirvana citizens. After much negotiation, it was decided that a welfare system of allowances would be enacted. Reid (5) is now receiving $2/week and Ryan (7) is receiving $3 per week.

The new economic policies have benefited me the most. My recorded message at the store is no longer "no". I just state what items are eligible for Nirvana government reimbursement and what will be the responsibility of its citizens.

Ryan has become a bank. A fortress of savings and loaning. The Bank also is involved in all purchase negotiations with OTHER PEOPLE'S MONEY. The Bank believes that he knows best. The Bank is a bit sneaky and is on the Nirvana government watch list.

Reid's money burns a swift hole in his pocket. He lays it down hot potato-style at Target mere moments after it is issued. The Bank supervises all purchases issuing high interest partial loans when it was to the Bank's benefit.

On the last Target trip the Bank was using strong arm tactics to spend Reid's money for his own benefit. I stepped in freezing the Bank's assets until a full audit could be conducted assuring a S&L crisis aversion. Reid set his sights on a more expensive toy then he could purchase under current economic conditions and went home with money in pocket.

A few days later I was surprised when Reid mentioned that he had no money. We hadn't been anywhere that he could spend it. I had even recently seen it in his kitchen jar.

"Where did the money go?" I asked.

"I gave it to Ryan." Reid answered.

"Why?"

"Because he helped me."

"Oh, that is nice." I replied suspiciously.

"RYAN!!!!" I called.

"Where is Reid's money?"

"Reid doesn't have any money."

"He did this morning. What happened since then?"

"Oh, he paid me."

"Paid you for what?"

"To get his clothes out of the closet this morning."

"How much did he pay you?"

"$5.50"

"Wow. That seems generous of him to spend 2 1/2 weeks worth of allowance. Why would he do that?"

"I told him there was a spider in there."


Nice.

Reid was informed that both Rhett and I would have helped him for free. Ryan had created an artificial demand for clothes retrieval services through spider guerrilla marketing resulting in significant price gouging...

54 comments:

Sara said...

At my place the neighbors gouge my innocent Little Princess for various reasons. $10 for a pair of used dress-up shoes.

I nominated you for an award at my place!

Courtney said...

He should be in our government, screwing the little people, lol.

Angie's Spot said...

I see a successful career in mergers & acquisitions in Ryan's future. LOL!

Karen said...

Ha!!! Ryan is one smart little bugger!!! Poor Reid!

Beth (A Mom's Life) said...

So, did you make him give it back?? Or did Reid just learn a really pricey lesson?

Mrs Lemon said...

echoing Beth's question?

EatPlayLove said...

How funny, it will be interesting to see as they grow older if they still have the same habits. We are just starting to allow our oldest to have a few bucks of her own. Now she wants to open a store out front to make more money.

Threeundertwo said...

LOL. I have a banker - who recently used his savings to buy himself a Nintendo DS Lite, and a spender - who can burn through $$ on junk in minutes flat.

She would totally use that spider line too. Genius.

Brittany said...

Ok, that was hilarious. I can't even comment because I am laughing to hard to put words together.

Hip Mom's Guide said...

Ahhh, the politics of economics...even at such a tender age. Government employment in the future, perhaps?

spinning in our own direction said...

That just totally cracks me up.. No surprise but way too funny.

Suzie said...

lol those little loan sharks

jill jill bo bill said...

BAHAAAA! I got the Savers and the Spenders as well. And they don't change. EVER. Even at 21 The Saver) and 20 (The Spender) years old. (They live together in an apt to party, I mean go to college.) The 20 yr old just called to tell me he needs to bring his laundry home because for the 21 y/o to do it for him costs him $40 and that he's paid it all summer AND he's not doing it again...
Wouldn't be suprised if it was $40 a load. (The spender is also quite lazy at times.)

Gin said...

Older siblings...

That is absolutely hilarious. Will be passing post onto my husband for entertainment! Loved this post!!!

Happy Campers said...

Ahhh ha ha ha hah a.....he is one SMART boy! Destined to be the head of a company, for sure. Sweet Reid...trusting his brother...

That's too cute :)

AMomTwoBoys said...

That is one SMART kid. You're going to have to keep your eyes on him.

Elizabeth said...

Ditto Beth's question.
That is so stinkin' funny.
That boy sure does have his finger on the pulse of economics.
Blessings, E

the planet of janet said...

keep an eye on that kid! he'll go far.

Marcy Writes said...

Clearly the child is a genius. This is an official diagnosis. You are welcome.

Amy @ Milk Breath and Margaritas said...

This is hilarious! Some sort of microcosm of sub-prime mortgage scandalish stuff here.

Actually, you may want to chat with him about ethical banking practices, since he's clearly an evil banking genius.

Texan Mama@WhoPutMeInCharge said...

Oh, that is too funny! And you are a very generous mommy. My kids get $1 per year of age PER MONTH. Yes it has cut down on them asking for junk. I could write a whole post on the results since I've instituted allowance. SE hoards her money like a starving person hoards food, RS spends his money like it's burning a hole in his pocket, and JL swiftly loses his. Funny how I predicted exactly that.But I loved your story about your little entrepreneur. Bill Gates watch out.

carmen said...

That's hilarious! $5.50!

It must be a birth order thing. It's the same way in our house. A1 won't spend a cent. A2 spends every nickel on crap in the $1 bins at Target.

Jennifer H said...

So, did Ryan get to keep the money? And was there a spider in there?

The suspense may kill me. (You think I'm kidding, don't you?)

This totally sounds like something that my daughter would pull. She was selling junk from her room to her brother about a month ago. One tiny thing for, like, 5 bucks.

I was torn between "Atta girl!" and sympathy for my poor (literally) boy.

Mel, A Dramatic Mommy said...

Clever! I'm sure Reid will think of something he can charge $5.50 for.

Roger said...

Ryan sounds like Benjy, who went to Target and bought himself a refrigerator and filled it with yummy sodas of a many wide variety ... then he charged his siblings (and parents) $.50 for the priviledge of drinking one of drinks.

At least he never asks us to borrow any money. :) Unlike his older brother, who actuall has a job!

Angie @ KEEP BELIEVING said...

Reid sounds like he inherited his guarantor's Target spending habits.

KEEP BELIEVING

Trysha said...

Oh that is hilarious! That kid is going to go far in life...

anglophilefootballfanatic.com said...

That is some great use of bears and bulls. He's got miserly written all over.

Insta-mom said...

Quite the little entrepreneur you have there!

binky ink said...

While I am not condoning The Bank's practices, I have to admit I am impressed as his seemingly instinctual tactics to ensure survival of the fittest.

There is no way Wilbur or Peep attributed to that. Maybe it's coming from another source?

Vicki is Not So SAHM said...

I think the Bank could step in for our own government and help out a little.

I assumed that's how all oldest children were (I'm assuming he's oldest). Our oldest though has a perpetual list of things she's ready to buy the second we enter the store.

Louise said...

Can you hear me laughing?

The only thing more funny and clever than your children is the writing of this post.

Poor, trusting Middle Child!

Kirby3131 said...

Hysterical!! I love it.

Rachel said...

I nearly spit my drink out.
This is so freaking funny. Holly, that kid is going to take over the world and everyone is going to thank him for making decisions for them :-)
Holy hell woman.

Nanny Goats In Panties said...

That last sentence was AWESOME! That dude could SO be president someday, with his mad fiscal skillz!

Elaine A. said...

So Ryan will do well in the "real world" and you'll just have to worry about Reid. Unless of course he takes after his mommy in writing skills - then he should be fine. Well, maybe... ; )

texasholly said...

I just edited HTML...Lord have mercy on my blog...did this work?

Nicole said...

LOL. You have a very savvy kid on your hands. Good luck when he gets old enough to swindle the car keys out of you!

PS: Congrats on the comment formatting change! I knew you could do it!

Tootsie Farklepants said...

That is impressive. He will make a fine venture capitalist someday.

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

It's gotten to the point where I will take the $5.00 being proffered from by one teen to get the other teen to empty the dishwasher!

Larissa said...

Too funny!

Eek... Grey is only two, and already the requests to pay for things himself is making its appearance whenever we are out...

Of course, when asked HOW he will pay for things?

"Can I have some money?" Goober.

Nap Warden said...

It's a lost cause once they start talking;)

Sarah said...

*LMAO*!!! Oh my goodness!! The little sheister!! Keep your eye on that one for sure!!

MightyMom said...

oh my!!!

I'm afraid.....

I'm not ready to govern a stock market yet.....

Danielle said...

So...has the bank yet convinced the other citizens that a nickel is better than a dime because it is bigger?

Burgh Baby said...

That kid? Is a GENIUS!

Loralee Choate said...

THAT is funny. There is nothing quite like an entrepreneurial kid. Heh.

Sunshine said...

Oh Holly! THat is hilarious!! You have a future captain of industy on your hands. Either that, or you will be visiting him in Federal Prison for insider trading...

I'll hope for captain fo industry!

Brea said...

We finally got rain, too. I've never had a prettier drive from Bastrop to Houston, for this time of year, as I had yesterday. I forgot how green everything gets when it's well-watered by the Big Guy above!! :)

~Brea

Tootsie Farklepants said...

My brother had a teddy too. His name was Opie. He was well loved.

Gattina said...

Beautiful pictures ! very special !

Lilacspecs said...

I love the melting leaf and the ferns. Rain makes everything so much prettier.

Rebecca said...

What a beautiful post... Ahhh...

merrymishaps said...

Great photos, my fav is the last one!

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