June Cleaver Nirvana

I do math all day in my head as a mom. Not just easy math, but serious equation math that would boggle the mind of a non-mommy. It all comes down to algebra and the many variables of momminess. Note illustration-1 to the right. Now I will explain the equation in detail so that you can follow along at home.

Legend: a=mommy needs 6 minutes to clean the kitchen, b=daddy is at Target with Ryan (c) and Reid (d) leaving Rhett (e) at home.

a=(b+c+d) - e/destruction in the pantry - hazard of 21 month old on relocated stool + peace and quiet resulting from destruction and hazard - time mommy will need to reorganize pantry - unknown $$ to replace broken pantry items


Many times the equation is more of a <> vs. a = since nothing seems exactly equal in motherhood so this is how that would go:

Legend: a=mommy, b=friend on phone, c,d,e= above stated boys 1-3

a+b for 12 minutes on the phone=sanity for a > c,d,e running a $2.49 roll of scotch tape throughout the house - 9 minutes it takes to scrape scotch tape off the end table, wood floor and back french door + creative learning experience for 3 boys - the trip to Target now needed to replace the $2.49 roll of tape

I do this every time I take a moment of peace, 2 minutes to change the disgusting hand towel in the kid's bathroom, 3 minutes to start a load of laundry, or as my husband just stated, "you've got exactly 2 minutes to finish that blog".